Bear had her end-of-year party for the percussion group today, and when I picked her up she’d eaten (no lie) 2 doughnuts, a piece of chocolate cake, another doughnut, and a bunch of cheese puff balls.  It’s a miracle she didn’t puke all over the music room.

She also carried a teeny pink stuffed poodle tucked under her arm.  The music teacher had prizes for the kids to choose from, and girly-girl can’t resist a stuffed animal to save her life.  She’s had a soft pink baby doll (“Pinky”) basically since birth, and this poodle will make the perfect pet for her.

Do I object to the poodle?  No.  (Well, except in the fact that I’m pretty sure this teacher went out and bought twenty prizes with her own money, and that bothers me a little.  But not the poodle specifically.)

What did bother me was the tag Bear sweetly read from the backseat as we were riding home.

Ummmm...WHAT?
Ummmm…WHAT?

Just in case you’re having trouble reading Brigitte’s poem:

“A girl must always look her best

You can tell by how she’s dressed

Pretty bows, pink poofy hair

Brigitte is full of charm and flair!”

Oh.  My.  Word.

So in my head I’m screaming THAT DID NOT HONESTLY JUST SAY “A GIRL MUST ALWAYS LOOK HER BEST,” IT’S NOT POSSIBLE SUCH AN ASININE AND SEXIST THING WOULD LITERALLY BE PRINTED ON THE TAG FOR EVERYONE TO SEE.

But on the outside I’m all calm and collected, because I want to “set an example” for Bear and this is what one would call a “teachable moment.”  (Amen, sister.)

So I calmly say, “It doesn’t really say that, does it?  It doesn’t actually say ‘A girl must always look her best’?”  Bear replies that yes, it does, and I say wow, I’ve never heard such nonsense before.  (Which is complete B.S. because I grew up in the ’70s and there was sexist crap all over the place!  But whatever.  Teachable moment.)

I tell Bear that I don’t really agree with that at all, and my awesomely rocking daughter says, “Yeah, I don’t really care.”  So I tell her we’re just going to change the words so it makes sense, because what’s on that tag is pretty ridiculous.

What we came up with on the fly was that a girl must always try her best.  I pretty much brain dumped the rest of the poem because A) I was trying not to run off the road, and B) I couldn’t come up with an immediate rescue for pretty bows/poofy hair and the whole “judging a book by its cover” message.

SO…a girl must always TRY her best.

And the Beanie Babies company might want to try dragging their marketing department into the 21st century.  Just a thought.