It’s not like I actually watched the MTV VMA awards last night because, well, I’m not exactly their target demographic.  I usually catch the highlights the next day, though, and what I’m seeing is flat-out loco.

I mean, what the hell?!

Sure, I’m not exactly shocked that Miley’s photo is leading the news feed but come on.  We get it. You’ve got perky twenty-something boobs.  Congratulations.  A tiny shred of something that vaguely resembles chainmail covering your ass and woo-hoo and voilà…all you need are some thigh high silver hooker boots and you’re good to go.

I didn’t even know who the hell Frankie Grande was, though having seen Bear through an Ariana Grande stage I was guessing we might have a connection there.  Wikipedia tells me that yes indeed, he’s the brother.  And apparently being a “YouTube personality” qualifies as a listable accomplishment.  All that aside, I don’t care who you are – walking the red carpet boasting a gold glittery chest?  WTF?!

While Nicki Minaj gets points for covering up the side-boob and being content with flashing (a massive amount of) cleavage, you gotta ask yourself what was the deal with her dress?  Is there a shortage of material out there?  And what’s up with all the sheer panels?  Her flower detailing may technically cover the crotch (yay!  modesty!), but I’m thinking sitting was a real challenge in that thing. Dress shifts up, cross your legs, then dress shifts to the side – suddenly the camera guy has to watch his angles so the VMAs don’t go X-rated.

All I can say is w-o-w.  I guess it takes more and more to make the headlines these days.

(Yep.  I’m this old.)