Last week I wrote several posts that really stuck with me. These (part 1 and part 2) lingered in the back of my mind for days, patiently waiting for me to sift through all the questions they’d raised and emotions they’d evoked. It was a lot to process, but spending that time with it eventually led to a really good heart to heart with T-man. I’ll be writing about that in tomorrow’s blog.
I gained a greater appreciation for my son’s point of view, but along with that understanding came an idea that grew until it wouldn’t be ignored. Adoption, while not the most important aspect of our family, certainly plays a very big part in who we are and how we approach certain experiences. This is why I’m going to start a weekly feature on Fridays called Forever Family.
I’m sure every parent feels this way, but I know our kids are in our family for a reason. That is to say, I know in my heart that these particular souls are our kids because they’re meant to be. There’s simply no other explanation for how our family came to be (a story that I’ll get to another time).
The adoption process can be brutal, but when it works you end up with a new family member that brings in more light and love than you ever imagined possible. T-man’s arrival was nothing short of life changing, and just under a year later Bear completed our family. BrightSide and I had been blessed with two beautiful biracial children who grow more extraordinary each and every day.
I didn’t create Riddle from the Middle to be an adoption blog. I knew the issue would come up since I’d be writing about my family, but I also knew I’d be writing about a slew of other things, too. Not talking about adoption would be like ignoring the elephant in the room – there’s no doubt these are our children, but it’s foolish to think adoption hasn’t impacted our lives in countless ways over the years. That’s why it keeps creeping onto the blog.
So I’d like to give it a permanent seat at the table. I want to start the discussion without any preconceived notions about where it should lead us. The power and pain of adoption, ongoing struggles, joys, issues faced with open or closed adoptions, transracial adoption – these are only a few of the things we could talk about here.
I also want to have as many points of view as possible. BrightSide and I approach this as domestic adoptive parents for both an open and closed adoption, but even he and I have different perspectives. There are aspects to our experiences that impact me as a mom that don’t seem to affect him as a dad.
While it may seem at times that bloggers only like to hear their own voice, I’d love Forever Family to turn Fridays into a conversation. We have so much to learn from each other – every parent, adoptive parents, birth parents, those who were adopted as children – each one of us has our own story and wisdom to share. Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation by commenting on the post.
Do you have a topic you’re interested in? A question you’ve always been curious about? A perspective you’d like shared and discussed? E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org or by clicking on “get in touch” in the top menu and we can discuss it on the blog. I will either cite your topic anonymously or include your name, whichever you’d prefer. (Note: all e-mails will be considered anonymous unless you specifically give me permission to use your name.)
I’m really excited about starting Family Forever tomorrow. Please jump right in and share your thoughts, stories, opinions, and perspectives…we can do great things together.
If you’d like to read some of my previous posts dealing with adoption issues, I’m linking them below.