open, closed, and in between

There are as many different types of adoption as there are adoptees.  The powers that be place them in categories – domestic or international, closed or open or semi-open – because people like when things fit into boxes.  It’s comfortable.  Except I think we all know by now that life doesn’t fit in boxes.

I’m pretty sure if you tried to wrestle real life into neat little packages it would turn amoeba-like, spilling out over the top and sides until you finally gave up and accepted the messy.

I’ll be talking about open versus closed adoptions in tomorrow’s Forever Family post.  Mommysquared wrote eloquently about her family’s experience with their daughters’ open adoptions.  Visit her blog to read her story, and then visit RFTM tomorrow to join the conversation.

Source: Why Open Adoption? | What makes a Real family?

4 thoughts on “open, closed, and in between

  1. Thank you for sharing this. I come from a family that many have adopted or been adopted. I dream of adopting but adoption isn’t about finding parents that have the abundance of love to give. Just because I have health issues my fiancé (who is adopted) and I can’t adopt in the United States. I can’t have children anymore and it breaks my heart I am unable to bear him a child. God blessed me with my 13 year old son with my ex and I always wanted him to have a brother or sister. With all that said if you have any advice on qualifying for adopting, I would be very appreciative.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so sorry you’re having trouble pursuing adoption – it can be such a difficult process for so many different reasons. I understand the desire to bear a child but think you’re right to realize expanding your family through adoption would also be a wonderful choice. We adopted through a private agency that required a letter from your physician (if necessary) stating you are capable of parenting; maybe this is something you could look into.

      Without asking for your specifics, the National Council on Disability talks about adoption law at https://www.ncd.gov/publications/2012/Sep272012/Ch10. I think health issues would be protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. They point out that there’s no inherent right to adopt or foster, which is why parents with disabilities run into discrimination in the process. But the section on “Disability Law and the Adoption System” discusses how Title II and III prohibit discrimination so you have legal recourse if someone is saying you can’t adopt based solely on a condition protected by the ADA.

      I know what a hard journey it is. Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

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