Not to pile on the mommy clothes complaint bandwagon but what the hell, people?!  Clearly I’ve missed a memo on gender appropriate clothing for my children – you know, the one explaining why girls’ clothing uses approximately 1/3 of the material used to create a same-sized item in the boys’ department.

This mom vented her rage at Target way back in 2014.  Not that I’m digging on Target in particular – two other stores have provoked my wrath this month – but what is the deal with these clothes manufacturers?  Don’t any of these people have daughters?  And if they do, where on earth do they buy their clothes?!

Listen.  I’m not Amish (lovely people, I’m sure), and I’m not looking to cover Bear from collarbone to ankle.  I just need to find decent shorts.

And given the options available, I guess I need to mention that we’re not encouraging a career in pole dancing.


My quest this week?  Basketball shorts.

In a massive parenting fail (although it registers way down on the “what really matters” scale), I managed to let my kids get through almost an entire basketball season without black shorts.  To be fair no one actually told me that black shorts were required, but the first few games probably should have set me straight.  It’s hard to miss when your kid is the only one running down the court in fluorescent orange.

My bad.

For whatever reason, I got inspired to set things right for the last two (yep, TWO) games of the season, so while I was out shopping one day I decided to pick up shorts for both kids.  It’s quite possibly the most generic clothing requirement ever…it never occurred to me that I might have trouble finding black shorts.

Well, it turns out that I did.  After a good deal of searching in the boys’ section I finally emerged with a pair of black shorts that, thanks to today’s fashion, will easily skim T-man’s knees.  I even picked up a pair of navy blue ones for backup figuring anything would be better than those crazy orange shorts.  (Not for nothing, but what did he wear for the last game of the season?  Yep.  Crazy orange.  What-evs.)

Great!  One down, one to go.

Bear’s in what one might call a challenging stage.  She’s only 9 years old but the girls’ department is hit or miss, so I didn’t hold out much hope there.  I wandered through anyway, looking at all the itty-bitty clothing, then meandered on over to the juniors section.

This is when I learned that apparently this particular store thinks junior girls are meant to sit around and look pretty.  Obviously they didn’t think those girls play sports.  I circled that area three times, and the only thing that kept popping up were booty shorts.  Booty shorts.  a) Absolutely not.  b) Who can play basketball with their ass cheeks hanging out?!  People!!!

It was through sheer luck that I stumbled into a rack that had one – exactly one – pair of girls’ black athletic shorts in Bear’s size.  I think I can safely say that she and T-man are buying the same size shorts without horrifying her on the internet (and we can all agree not to mention it, right?).  So I walk out of that store with two pairs of black athletic shorts, same size, one boy’s and one girl’s.

I mentioned that T-man’s pair basically hits at his knee.  Care to guess how long Bear’s shorts are?  I’d say they hit a good four inches above her knee.  Long enough to avoid the booty shorts category; short enough to be irritating while running up and down the court.

I seriously need to know where is the disconnect here.  Girls play.  Girls climb.  Girls compete. Hell, some girls just plain old don’t want shorts that barely cover their butt.  (I know, how Victorian.)  So where are the clothes for those girls?!

I’ll tell you where.  In the boys’ department.  I brought home two pairs of “boy” shorts (the athletic wear, not the underwear) for Bear today and she was thrilled.  Put one pair on right away to go outside and play this afternoon.  That girl was happy as a clam.

So it’s looking like I’ve got a couple of choices.  Either clothing manufacturers wise up and start making clothes that young girls can actually play in (I’m not holding my breath for this one), or more of Bear’s sportswear will be coming from the boys’ department.

Because the chances of me learning to sew are even slimmer than Bear getting a selection of those booty shorts for her birthday.