BrightSide and I lived by the rule that our kids could start traveling with us once they were potty trained.  I know plenty of people who take their kids on trips from birth, but it wasn’t for me.  I’ve always known that I am not equipped to travel with diapered ones in tow.  I have limitations; I embrace them.

This meant when we’d go on a trip the kids would get to spend the week with BrightSide’s parents.  T-man and Bear really looked forward to their grandparent time, so we were able to enjoy ourselves knowing that they were having a vacation of their own.  Win-win, right?

Travel post-kids brought about the introduction of the Green Folder.  The Green Folder was a do or die collection of what I considered useful information.  Insurance cards.  Important phone numbers.  Schedules for playschool or extracurricular activities.  I believe at one time I even included directions to the nearest kid friendly park.  Was it the teensiest bit anal?  Sure, probably, but I had good intentions.

But this lady’s letter to the grandparents?  Classic.

“Dear Granny, Grampy, Nana and Pop Pop:

Thank you sooo much for taking care of the kids next week so the husband and I can go away for the first time in years.  I know I’m just supposed to be appreciative, so let me tell you a little something I would appreciate…

This is a list of shit not to do while we are gone:

1. Please do not constantly stuff my kids with candy.  For some reason, whenever I walk out of the room you suddenly turn into a Mexican piñata maker and stuff my kids silly with candy like they’re hollow papier-mâché donkeys.  If we get back and the kids are high on Pixy Stix and Pop Rocks, I’m putting a blindfold on, grabbing a stick, and beating the crap out of the nearest grandparent…”

10 Things Grandparents Shouldn’t Do When Grandchildren Visit – Scary Mommy