She’s a love…she’s a mess…she’s above all else a Golden.  Along with all the good and bad that comes with that.

I updated Gracie’s tally last month, but it doesn’t take long for our oompa loompa to rebuild her list.  Sadly, we’ve reached that point again.

And so, with no further ado, here is Gracie’s updated tally:

  • 90% of the Cheez-Its in Bear’s bowl (questionably perched beside her on the couch during homework time)
  • part of a disposable razor
    • We were having dinner with BrightSide’s parents and Gracie had been unusually well-behaved for the evening.  It wasn’t until we were talking after dinner that I noticed an odd…crunching sound coming from under the table.  Imagine my surprise when I ducked my head under and found her chomping on a disposable razor blade, hard enough that she’d snapped the protective cover in two.  That was a bit awkward but remarkably blood-free.
  • an enormous box of Goldfish crackers (This turned out to be mostly box along with a few cracker crumbs.)
  • napkins off the kitchen table (Always, endlessly, regardless of the reaction – she’s surely digested at least a dozen by now.)
  • Claritin D
    • Once again, a discovery under the kitchen table.  The box was gone, and two sections were chewed open.  Through the grace of whatever power watches over this crazy ass dog, she didn’t actually consume any pills.
  • half a Fiber One granola bar (I had to fight to get this one out of her mouth and ended up with a huge, drooly mess.  She must have really loved the taste of this one.)
  • an entire apple core (Thanks for that one, BS.)
  • 1/4 container of blueberries
  • a Yeti sticker
  • a chicken noodle soup can
    • Gracie stole this one off the counter before it could go into recycling.  She licked the inside clean as a whistle then gnawed the edge.  We’re talking actual teeth marks on metal, for the love of Pete.
  • half a banana stolen from Bear’s placemat when she stepped away during breakfast (another huge, drooly mess)
  • Cheez-Its stolen from the counter (along with a chunk of the Ziplock bag they were in)

I’ve learned to temper my reactions, keeping my blood pressure at an acceptable level, but I’m starting to get a bit concerned about Bear.  A lot of these, umm, episodes happen to her and Bear gets seriously pissed when Gracie steals her food.  There have been moments when I’ve truly feared for the dog.

Gracie will learn to target someone else’s food if she knows what’s good for her.