Feelings can be big.  Really, really big.  Tsunami sized emotions that threaten to sweep the kids off their feet and into the storm.

I have a little bit of experience with gigantic emotions on the rampage so I can more than sympathize.  It’s terrifying to feel so out of control, like the world is spinning ten times faster and you can’t slow down or step off.

Sometimes, when the world is huge and angry and frenzied, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to rein it back in again.  That the emotions are going to swallow me whole, leaving nothing but a shell behind.  I live with that fear, and I’m the grown up around here.

I can’t imagine what it must feel like from a child’s perspective.

T-man’s shared his anxiety about the big feelings.  He’s frightened of his scary thoughts and at the possibility that his anger might simply overwhelm him one day.  He seems so grown – this makes it easy to forget T-man is still a young man struggling to find his place in the world, and that it’s difficult to contain such a large rage in an undeveloped mind.

It’s painful that I have no easy fix to offer.  That the best I can do is tell him to breathe and hold on.  That we can work through the big feelings together so they fit in his mind and heart, until he’s strong enough to manage on his own.

It doesn’t feel like it’s enough, but I suppose it’s all any of us really have.


Forever Family has been truncated today due to Hair Day.  Bear’s requested micro braids, and my fingers have been on hiatus for about two years now.  This should be interesting.