I thought I had a handle on things around here. I mean, I feel like I’m pretty on top of it as far as being a mom goes, but it turns out I’ve had a couple of rude awakenings over the last six months or so. Moments when I’ve looked at T-man or Bear and I’m absolutely certain I’ve entered a time warp.
At the risk of sounding like every other parent on the planet, it feels like we’ve zoomed through the last ten years. I can still picture T-man and Bear’s pudgy legs as they wobbled around the family room, hands grasping for bottles or hugs. It seems like they were just babies…then toddlers, then kindergarteners…
So how on earth did we get here?!
Here are a few of the bizarrely surreal moments I’ve experienced recently. Times when I’ve stood stock still and thought What the hell happened? Have I been sleepwalking this year or what?
* When did these kids get so freaking tall?!
I mean, I’m not completely oblivious. I noticed in January that T-man was steadily gaining on me, and I vaguely remember wondering if I’d still have a height advantage when he left fifth grade. But then I guess I drifted a bit after losing mom. The next thing I know T-man was practically looking at me eye to eye over breakfast one morning. Bear’s no shrinking violet either. Every time I turn around that girl’s grown a little more, and I fear mightily that I will be the shortest member of my family by this time next year.
* What is that on your face??
I was talking with T-man about something or other – the specifics aren’t all that important, I suppose, which is good because I have absolutely no idea what we were discussing. I just know I was fully focused on what I was saying to him until I found myself distracted by the disturbing peach fuzz on T-man’s upper lip. I mean, facial hair? Really?!? I’m not ready for this.
* Okay, not to seem dense, but exactly when did Bear get boobs?
I remember when we began this super fun ride on the puberty train. I recall noting changes beginning in both of the kids. And while I may have spent sixth grade stuffing toilet paper in my bra, it looks like Bear won’t have a problem in this particular area. Even so, there was an evening this spring when I was hanging out in her room and was suddenly stuck with the absurd realization that I had absolutely no idea when Bear got boobs. I mean, really…that’s the sort of thing I probably should have noticed, right?
So if things keep clocking along at this pace and I dare to blink twice, I could end up opening my eyes to find these kids have gone off to college.
For heaven’s sake.