Bear and I were talking over breakfast at Chic-fil-a (hello, crack chicken on a buttery biscuit) when inspiration struck. I told her one of the things I write about on the blog is adoption, and that I thought readers would love to hear her perspective. Everyone comes into this with a different point of view, but only she can share the thoughts inside her head.
Lucky for me, she agreed.
So, with no further ado, my Forever Family conversation with Bear.
me: Let’s start with something easy. What’s your favorite song?
Bear: Me Too.
me: By Meghan Trainor?
me: What about a favorite book?
Bear: Wonder. [book is reviewed under youth fiction here]
me: Oh, I love that one.
Bear: Yeah, it’s an awesome book.
me: What about school? Do you have a favorite subject?
Bear: Because I like figuring out answers to problems. I think it’s fun.
me: Let’s say you get one extra hour of free time on the weekend and you can do anything you want with it. What would you do?
Bear: Anything I want?
Bear: Play with Lyssie. I hope her mom reads your blog.
me: I don’t know if she does but I hope so, too. So what about having a brother? Do you like having a brother?
Bear: Sometimes. It can come in handy sometimes. Like when I’m mad about something and he can help me with it.
me: (laughing) Aha! Would you want to have a sister?
Bear: (emphatically) No.
me: No? Why not?
Bear: Because, um…I have enough girl drama at school. I don’t need that at home!
me: Fair enough. But you do want your own dog.
Bear: (laughing) Yes.
me: Okay. Why?
Bear: Because I wanna prove that I’m responsible enough.
me: You are responsible…All right. So tell me, what do you think is the best part about being adopted?
Bear: That I have more than I would if I wasn’t adopted. Like, I can spend more time with family than if I wasn’t adopted….and I have a brother, not a sister.
me: Okay. What’s the hardest part?
Bear: That I never get to see them.
me: How does that make you feel?
Bear: Kind of sad that I don’t really know them.
me: Well, that makes sense…So if you could tell Miss M anything, what would you tell her? Like if you could send her a letter or a text, what would you tell her? (pause) What would you want her to know?
Bear: That I’m healthy and happy.
me: I bet she would like to hear that.
Bear: (laughing) And tall.
me: And tall! Why, yes, you are…and how about C [Bear’s biological sister]? Is there anything you would want to tell her?
Bear: That I have a brother that’s the same age as her.
me: Yeah. (pause) So, having a brother that’s adopted…does that make a difference?
Bear: I have somebody that I can talk to that understands my situation.
me: That’s true! Do you guys talk about that?
me: You’re still kinda young, you might do it more when you’re teenagers.
Bear: Can I eat both mints?
me: I can give you my mint because that’s how much I love you. I love you enough to give you my mint. You’re silly. So, if you…let’s say…what do you want other kids to know about someone who’s adopted? About you. What do you want other kids to know, without having to tell them. What do you wish they knew?
Bear: That it can really be hard sometimes but it’s really…it’s a good thing most of the time.
me: Okay. And if you…well, I was gonna say if you knew somebody younger what advice would you give to them, but you do know somebody…you know S__ and M__…
Bear: T__ and B__.
me: And you know T__ and B__, right. So if you were gonna give any advice to someone who’s younger than you, who’s gonna grow into the stage you’re in, who also has been adopted…what would you tell them?
Bear: That they can talk with me anytime they need to.
me: That would make a big difference, right? You know you can always talk to me and dad, but who do you know that understands what it’s like to grow up?
Bear: Aunt Ess
me: Yeah. So you have somebody in our family that you can always talk to. That’s important. Awesome. All right. So is there anything you want to say to the blog audience at large? They’ve been reading about all kinds of crazy stories from our house, our escapades, Gracie’s nuttiness…is there anything you want to tell the Riddle from the Middle readers?
Bear: Gracie is super doofusy.
me: Super doofusy? (laughing) I love that description. Okay. Any others? ‘Cause I tell our secrets all the time.
Bear: And Phoebe’s crazy.
me: Phoebe’s crazy, fair enough. She’s a special kind of crazy, but yeah, she is…no other deep dark secrets, huh?
Bear: (whispers something then laughs) No wait, don’t put that!
me: Okay. You’re awesome. Thank you.
Bear: Ready to go?
And that, my friends, is Bear’s word on it.