We have an interesting habit around here of leaving car doors open a little too long. (By “we,” I mean the two people still shorter than me in this house. And by “interesting,” I mean “drives me batty every single time.”)
It usually happens when we’re loading into the car to go somewhere. The kids open their doors and sometimes even get half a leg into the vehicle before getting distracted (SQUIRREL!) by something in the garage. The go kart. A basketball that didn’t get put up. A bike that’s out of place, provoking an argument about who used whose stuff the day before. Good times.
What does it all boil down to? A car sitting in the garage with at least two doors wide open while they suss things out. In the big scheme of things this isn’t an enormous problem. On a smaller plane, we do share this planet with flying critters that for reasons unknown are drawn to my car’s interior like moths to a flame.
Again, not the end of the world. Unless you’re going 70mph (just kidding, officer, I only drive 65) down the interstate and that critter swoops right at my face.
You see, I’m not great with bugs. Well, maybe it’s more that I’m not great with unpredictable creatures. Snakes and their sudden swishy movements are enough to send me running like a girl on fire (and not in the good way), so a bug flying around the car while we’re in motion is a bit of a distraction. Which conflicts with my number one rule – don’t distract the driver. Well, that and the driver has ultimate say on all music selection, but the first is more applicable in this scenario.
So a couple of weeks ago we were getting ready to go somewhere. The typical distractions ensued, doors stood ajar, and when we were finally off and running a gnat started darting around my head.
Again, I recognize that a gnat isn’t exactly life threatening. We’re not talking a bee or yellow jacket, both of which truly induce fear and panic no matter what speed we’re going. Since it was only a gnat, I very calmly said, “Guys, let’s not leave the car doors wide open like that.”
To which T-man replied, “Okay, but let’s not kill it because he hasn’t done anything to us.”
Did I mention this all went down right after nature camp? Yeah. My Ghandi-in-training has a very firm non-violence policy when it comes to all living creatures. All. living. creatures.
Which is why I have a gnat camping out in my car. I’ve read they have a lifespan of anywhere from 24 hours to 4 months, so for all I know he’s still chilling in the back, jamming out to Pink and Flo Rida. Which is just fine with me – he’s got his space, and I’ve got mine.
Everything’s copacetic as long as he doesn’t do any swoop and dive maneuvers while the vehicle is in motion.