a dog’s life: the walk

Gracie’s had her turn in the spotlight – well, more than one, really – but specifically she’s had her turn hosting the blog.

We’ll give Phoebe a chance today.

IMG_4571(Curled in a tight ball, head resting gently on a throw pillow.  Paws twitch slightly, eyes squeezed tight in dreamland.  Suddenly lids pop open.  Head jerks up, ears back, wide awake and alert.)

What’s that?  What’s that?  WHAT’S THAT?

(Launch off sofa, feet flying around the end table at breakneck speed, paws sliding against floorboards before slamming into the front door.  Hair like a mohawk, standing at attention with front paws pressed against the window, eyes intently searching the street.)

What is that?  Is it stopping?  Stranger danger, stranger danger, it can’t stop here, why is it slowing down?

(Pickup truck slows at stop sign in front of house.)

Get out!  Get out!  Get out!  Get out!  Get out!….Good, it’s going away.

(Thunk!  Drop paws to floor and return to sofa, climbing up to reclaim napping spot.)

(Circle, circle, circle, circle, sit, flop.)  Sigh…

(Eyelids flutter closed, nose twitches, deep breathing resumes.  Three minutes of peace pass before -)

What’s THAT?  It’s BACK?!?

(Mad rush back to door.  Paws thump against glass, whip head around to see what giant machine dares to approach our perimeter now.)

WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!  WOOF!

(Hear jingle of leash near back door.)

Wait, what?  We’re going for a walk?!  Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy –

(Hurtle full speed across family room.  Skid to a stop and begin bouncing like a pogo stick.)

She’s holding the leash!  SHE’S HOLDING THE LEASH!!  Put it on Put it on Put it on Put it –

“Wah-wah, Phoebe!  Wah-wah, Phoebe!  Sit.  SIT.”

(Plop butt on floor and vibrate in place for four seconds before resuming pogo stick bouncing.)

“Wah, wah wah wah Gracie’s wah.”

(Maniacally jump around as Gracie sits for her leash.)

What are you doing?  Put on MY leash!  Put it on first!  MY leash MY leash MY leash!  Do MINE!

(Shove in front of Gracie then resume bouncing around perimeter to get attention.  Gracie gets leashed and released.)

“SIT, Phoebe.”

(Thud.  Tail swishes madly against floor.)  Click the leash, click the leash, click the leash, click the –

Click.

(Resume pogo stick bouncing.)  It’s hooked!  It’s hooked!  It’s hooked!  Let’s GO.

(Rush toward front door and spin in circles.)  Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go – WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?  LET’S GO.

(Begin pogo stick jumps, higher and higher.)

Hey, why are you stepping on my leash?  Okay, I’ll be still.  Well, I’ll try to be still.  This is kinda still.  Can we go yet?  Can we?  Can we?  Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go Let’s –

YAY!  We’re GOING!

(Pull toward open door, prancing around front porch like an end zone victory dance.  Watch mom hook door with her foot so it closes and then turn to front yard.  Dance.  Prance.  Wiggle while mom gets both leashes wrapped securely around her wrist until finally, FINALLY, she’s ready.)

It’s time.  Let’s GO!

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