the devil dances on my shoulder

I don’t like to think of myself as weak.  Which of course is a sign of weakness in and of itself, daring to presume that I’ve got this whole thing under control.  What a crock.

So while there are lots of big things that weigh on me, here are some of the little ones.  The evil temptations that knock my legs out from under me as the devil dances merrily about my prone body.

Mini Ben & Jerry’s cups.  Mini Ben & Jerry’s?  Miniature Ben & Jerry’s?!  It doesn’t sound right in any form.  Ben & Jerry’s is decadent, delicious, the ultimate yummy in a cup.  No one has ever batted an eye when I’ve said eating a pint isn’t exactly unheard of in my ice cream experience. Have you seen those mini servings?  They’re a half cup of ice cream.  Maybe.  Now when it comes to Ben & Jerry’s that’s just crazy talk.

White cheddar popcorn is finger licking good crack for the couch surfing masses.  Mmmm…I’m not sure what the official serving size is, but my serving?  That typically works out to be about 3/4 of the bag.  Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy every single delicious handful of salty goodness, but it comes with a healthy dose of popcorn binging remorse.  Sometimes that devil on my shoulder convinces me it’s worth the guilt trip, though.

Gummy Life Savers are another treat I can down by the bag.  Sweet, chewy yumminess.  I didn’t think anything could ruin these delicious goodies…that was until I stuck them on Bear’s chocolate iced birthday cake.  Ugh.  It took me a good two months before I could even look at them again, but we’re back to our comfortable arrangement – they stay out of icing and I gleefully devour them.

Home. Made. Mac. And. Cheese.  I am beyond stymied by the kids’ hesitation when it comes to this life altering dish.  I mean, how can they choose orange Kraft cheese over real honest-to-goodness deliciousness??  When I come across homemade mac and cheese at a potluck I’m drawn to it like planets circling the sun, and there is no rest until I’ve managed to score a huge spoonful for my plate.

Nachos with tons of melty cheese – bonus points for yummy toppings.  This particular evil temptation has the benefit of weighing in on two levels: the junk food nachos with gooey orange cheese (yes, I see the irony in that regarding my mac and cheese rave) and maybe even beef, beans, olives, or sour cream; and truly magnificent nachos piled high with layered toppings, a meal in and of itself.  Mmmmm, nachos…it’s almost a religious experience.

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Yeah, food is…complicated for me.  It’s slightly less complicated when I have my wits about me, but when I’m eating my way through my feelings?  Well, that’s when having some really great nachos comes in handy.

6 thoughts on “the devil dances on my shoulder

  1. I was laughing about the Ben and Jerry minis…you realize that 1/2 cup is a serving, at least according to the nutritionists who come up with those labels ???? I know..it is just wrong. My kids always preferred Kraft mac and cheese, maybe because they could make it for themselves any time they wanted it. The real deal, which was amazing, never went over as well. Go figure. Some day, they’ll get it !!! ☺ I can see by your post, you might be a “Dairy Queen”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, the Ben & Jerry minis were a short lived experiment with portion control. For example, I’ve learned that eating one of these just annoys me. It’s not enough ice cream to make me happy, but I feel guilty eating two. (Which makes absolutely no sense given the food gorging rant above but I’m weird like that…I think it’s the extra packaging waste that does it.)

      Liked by 1 person

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