where’s a fig leaf when I need one?

There’s a reason I don’t prance around in bikinis – aside from the obvious, that is.  I’m comfortable with a bit more coverage and, frankly, life’s a whole lot more fun when I’m not thinking about my lunch belly.

It’s not just clothes, though.  There are other items I feel completely naked without, things that can mess up an entire morning when I don’t have them on me.

My camera.  I know they say you should experience your children’s lives, not just record them for posterity in iPhoto, so I try to occasionally leave my camera at home.  Maybe I’ve got too many other things to juggle that day, or maybe it’s just time to fully focus on the event itself. But I can’t deny feeling a certain discomfort when I’m out without my camera.  My fingers are itching to mess with settings and my eyes are framing shots left and right.  It’s almost like a ghost limb…something I’m sure is there until I reach for it.

My phone.  Okay, this one is bad, I know.  I truly do remember a time when I left the house and was out of touch for the day, so it’s not a foreign concept.  And I don’t have such an inflated sense of importance that I think being able to reach me is a life or death situation.  But the anxiety stemming from not having my phone – what if a school needs to reach me?  I get in an accident?  I find myself stuck somewhere and need to do something other than watch paint dry to pass the time? – well, it all makes me a little squirrelly.  My phone has made it to my Top Three checklist before turning on the car.  Keys?  Wallet?  Phone?  Check!

Chapstick.  Yes, I use chapstick.  Basically all of the time, really…I never grew into a lipstick kind of gal, I guess, and being without my chapstick feels like roasting in the Sahara for two days.  I can feel my lips getting drier by the hour with nary a balm to battle it.  This is why I have at least six chapsticks open and located in various rooms/purses.

Glasses.  This used to be by choice.  When I was wearing my glasses my eyes didn’t get as tired, but if I didn’t have them it wasn’t the end of the world.  Now?  Wearing my glasses means I can see those pesky words printed on the page.  So not only do I feel naked without them, I feel like a bumbling blind naked person to boot.

Pad and pen.  My brain is always on.  Like, always.  The only time it’s really off is when I’m sleeping, and even then it’s usually running overtime in dreams.  I’ve found this monkey brain kicks in hard while I’m driving – it’s not like I need to be concentrating on anything important like, say, driving – and the only thing that works is writing stuff down.  Oil change.  Call pediatrician.  Exterminator.  Milk/eggs/yogurt.  Otherwise the tidbit keeps running circles in my brain in a vain attempt to lodge itself in my long term memory.  No pad and pen?  That means endless amounts of trivia jacking up my brain, and nothing good can come of that.

Gents are lost without their wallets, and most ladies can’t leave the house without their purse. I’m betting even the phone is a common necessity now.  But chapsticks and writing utensils? I’m not sure how many people feel adrift without those, but I know I sure do.

What do you feel naked without?

7 thoughts on “where’s a fig leaf when I need one?

  1. I feel nekkid without my clothes. Yeh, that’s not a pleasant sight I’m sure.

    I feel nekkid without my iPhone and my iPad. They are my connection to the world and my primary source of news.

    Liked by 1 person

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