I thought I’d smelled some awful things before.  Rotting vegetables found in the back of a crisper drawer.  Collard greens simmering.  Blowout diapers that baked for a week until trash day.

But the last year has brought some truly odorific moments, both teen- and house-related.  Some take me by surprise; others are ones you’d think I’d be used to.  But either way, they’re all stenches that brought me to my knees with a plaintive cry…Dear God, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!?

**  That horrible mustiness with a slightly sour undertone seeping into the back hallway after BrightSide parks his mower covered in wet grass in the garage.

**  A sharp painful punch from the bottom of each kid’s hamper after sweaty clothes sit percolating for a week.

**  The swampy, moldy smell overwhelming literally every single thing that came home from camp.

**  The overpowering stench of bodily functions and sweat pouring out of the kids’ bathroom.

**  A pungent aroma wafting from the fridge once too many takeout boxes accumulate.

**  Phoebe’s stealthy, bombshell, silent but deadly farts.

**  The one and only time I was searching for the source of a particularly nasty smell and made the mistake of sniffing inside the kids’ sneakers.

**  Soaking wet water shoes left in the shade to mildew.

**  Walking into the kitchen to find air filled with an overpowering toxic smell wafting from a crock pot that soaked overnight.

**  The deadly combination of August heat, recess, P.E., and a tank top when a kid stretches their arms overhead.

**  An unpleasant fishy smell inexplicably emanating from the dogs.

Science has come a long way, but there are no candles or air fresheners on the market powerful enough to overcome these odors.  They slide up your nostrils and lodge themselves in your olfactory memory, forcing you to relive the smell for hours afterward.  Shoot, extended studies may even show they’re singing nose hairs with long term exposure.

Give me a company willing to advance a product to combat everyday household stank…now that’s some research and development I’d get behind 100%.

10 thoughts on “Dear God, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!?

  1. Things that are almost intolerable for me to sniff — Sassy’s room — covered in teenage b.o. laundry, soured washcloths in the shower, last night’s refried bean pan soaking, and I must warn you, Laura — never give a dog brie, even if it falls on the floor.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You know, I think I just vastly underestimated the intensity of teenage b.o. I knew it was coming, but there’s no real way to be prepared.
      As for the brie…can’t imagine the story behind that one, but I’ll take your word for it!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • The teenage b.o. is soooo b.o. it should have its own category of funk. And it’s just inevitable, all those hormones. They all have gone through it, and they all get so upset when we say they need to take another shower. No matter how many showers, it comes back, and they’re so offended, but they don’t smell it on themselves, and I suppose, on their peers?
        I told Sassy last night that when I took my scarf back from her room, I had to Febreeze it, so yeah, she needed to clean up and air out in there. :/

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Funny…ironically, my kid’s bathroom actually smells good. The secret? I bought a car deodorizer (you know, the one that comes in a can and you pop the top?) because no other spray was strong enough. LOL Try it…it works great.

    Liked by 1 person

Add your 2 cents here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s