Such fluffy sweetness. Big, brown eyes that melt the hardest heart. Soft fur that snuggles up against you when you’re down.
She’s had a pretty good streak for the last few days. Ever since Friday’s massive migraine (otherwise known as The Day I Prayed The Earth Would Open And Swallow Me Whole) Gracie has been on her best behavior, staying close and loving on me as only a sweet dog can.
But let’s face it…we all know it has to end sometime.
I can’t even accurately say this is a Gracie update since it’s been so long since I’ve documented her path of destruction on the blog. So let’s call this more of a Greatest Hits list since August.
- a spool of ribbon
- Not a piece of ribbon, a spool of ribbon. Gracie showed up in the family room carrying a piece of white ribbon, but when T-man grabbed hold it grew and grew. Like a magician pulling scarves from a top hat, the white ribbon came trailing from her mouth and puddled on the floor. It wasn’t until I pried Gracie’s jaws open that I found she’d mouthed an entire ball of decorative wrapping material.
- Scotch tape
- part of a baby shower banner
- This wasn’t exactly a surprise, but the way I found out was a shock. There’s something about hearing my younger child shriek in outrage from another room that sends a chill down my spine.
- red clown noses
- I can hear the collective blogosphere (or those visiting today, anyway) wondering in confusion “Why on earth would they have clown noses lying around?” A fabulous question. We were going through a bit of a rough patch when Walgreens launched their campaign for Red Nose Day. BrightSide left for gum one morning and came back with four red noses, convinced that when tensions ran high it would be near impossible to stay mad if we had Rudolph noses. Sadly, we didn’t have a chance to test that theory before Gracie made them a midday snack.
- uncooked wheat pasta
- In pursuit of a healthier pantry, we’ve successfully converted to wheat pasta. It turns out the raw crunch of angel hair pasta is one of the tastiest treats Gracie’s found on the kitchen floor in a while.
- the lid from peanut butter filled pretzels
- my stress ball
- Unfortunately, Gracie bit a chunk out of the very thing that keeps me from throwing her out the door. Instead of its spunky “I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!” now it only has “I think I…I think I…I think…!” It’s a little sad.
- church bulletin
- Would this be considered sacrilegious?
- Doritos bag
- Because the cheesy goodness lining the bag just isn’t enough.
- bread bag twist ties
- a candy eyeball
- Yep, you read that one right. Someone (sigh) felt that a good post game snack would be a bag of Halloween candy, which is how we ended up with a sugar supply several weeks in advance of the big day. Candy bag ends up in a room, bedroom door is left ajar, and voilà…out comes Gracie with a candy eyeball stuffed in her mouth.
- political literature
- We received a guide in the mail recently, one from North Carolina outlining the state’s electoral procedures and the candidates running in next month’s election. Gracie must not have been terribly impressed. She stole it off the dresser and ate a big chunk off the bottom. Hopefully we won’t need the information in that particular section.
- green tissue paper (on three different occasions)
- Luckily Gracie was tromping around with the chipboard square holding the earrings. Bear’s panicked cry saved her from a punctured intestine.
- a three ounce candle in a jar
- That’s right. I was sitting on the couch, writing away, when Gracie trotted out of the bedroom proudly mouthing the scented candle from my dresser. Granted, it did smell delicious, but still…
- socks, socks, and more socks
- a gel pen
- a plastic tampon applicator
- Not surprisingly, Gracie woke me at 7:00am the next day to go outside. We only made it to the end of the hall before she puked, which is when I learned she’d also eaten a plastic purple Propel flavor pack. Good times.
- half a plate of scrambled eggs
- Gracie had the delightful timing to snarf these down on Massive Migraine Friday, a day when simply putting on pants was a major success. So you can imagine how thrilled I was to cook a second round of eggs when every moment on my feet felt like a sledgehammer to the skull.
There you have it, Gracie’s hijinks since our last recap. Oddly enough, despite our best attempts I’m sure I’ll be sending another one of these out.