houses aglow with twinkling lights

‘Tis the season.  For those of you who haven’t had your house lit up since Halloween or if you were distracted from decorating post-Thanksgiving, here’s a word to the wise before you string those lights.

Don’t say you weren’t warned.

“I’d like to share my experience with you, because while it serves as a cautionary tale it’s more than that – you’ll want to read it while you’re getting sauced later, once you, too have come down off the ledge.

1.  Find the ladder.  Sure, it’s big, but you have a basement, shed and garage.  Try not to call your husband to ask because goddammit you are an independent woman.  Carry the ladder to the front of your house without knocking into any walls, hitting any cats, or gouging anyone’s car.  Have an epiphany about people who do Crossfit.”

Suburban Snapshots: Hang Outdoor Christmas Lights in 10 Infuriating Steps

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