Please don’t send me hate mail about cheerleader bashing.  I’m not philosophically opposed to this particular extracurricular activity or invested in bringing down the pom pom industry. As a matter of fact, I’ve grown quite fascinated with high school and college cheerleading competitions – now those are some serious dance and gymnastic skills on display.

And yet I can’t help but struggle with the gym nearby.

For real, though…my inbox can’t take a massive influx of cheer mom angst, so let’s keep the uproar to a minimum.

There’s a gym down the street for cheerleaders.  They offer classes and private lessons, and they host several levels of highly competitive cheer teams.

Shortly after we moved to this neighborhood Bear expressed an interest in taking classes there. I’ll admit I had a skewed view of cheerleading when I was younger – it seemed like a popular girl’s thing, a way to hang out with football players and get invited to cool parties, but not an actual sport.  It took years for me to gain a better perspective.

So I kept an open mind when Bear said she wanted to try it out.  I promised to research the gym, look into the classes offered, and make an informed decision.

But then I pulled up their website and holy Mary, mother of God, the way those girls looked…my mouth dropped open at the sight.

Tiny skirts and booty shorts.  Halter tops showing off lots of midriff, or sheer material revealing body parts best covered up.  On girls as young as six!

Putting the uniforms aside – and they wouldn’t take up much space seeing as they use next to no material at all – have you seen the make up on these little girls?!  My word, they’re done up like hookers on the strip.

I grasp the need for a performance look during competitions – they’re cheering for judges from a distance and want to make an impact – but surely “performance makeup” for the six- to ten-year-old range doesn’t have to involve lipstick, blush, shadow, thick eyeliner, and gobs of mascara.  Add the teased hair and you’ve got a real party going on.

Don’t get me wrong, if your child’s into cheerleading and pursues this as a sport they’re training their bodies to do incredible things, physical feats that have always been far beyond my capabilities.  A well developed routine combining music, dance, gymnastics, and synchronization is a sight to behold.

But adults spackling makeup onto young girls then dressing them in overly revealing outfits only distracts from their athletic accomplishments.