My oh my oh my, the little people. Young kids can be as unpredictable as a five alarm fire, and when you give them room to roam?
Well, that can bring about some genuine wtf moments, my friends.
Like the three year old boy at the breakfast buffet. It was the kids’ table, granted, but there was nary an adult in sight to give him guidance. And, being three, this fella didn’t find the waffles and cereal nearly as interesting as the small dishes containing bright orange and green cubes of firm, jiggly Jello. For the moment let’s put aside the fact that Jello doesn’t fall into any of the breakfast food groups…I was walking back to my table when I spotted this kid standing entranced, repeatedly poking a Jello cube. I did the only thing I could think to do – I picked up the dish, reassured him it was okay to take it, and sent him on his way. Heaven only knows what his mama must have thought when he showed up at the table with dessert!
Then there was the day I was getting the kids from the pool for lunch. Bear looks up and shouts for all the world to hear, “That kid’s naked!!” Sure enough, I looked over to see a boy standing by the chairs buck naked, mooning the entire pool for who knows what reason. Even better, he still had his swim goggles fixed firmly on his head in case he needed to make a quick getaway.
And the day BrightSide was being superdad, off playing pool volleyball with the kids despite the late hour and extreme desire to nap. I was supervising (AKA watching from a lounge chair with cocktail in hand) when an ice bucket with BrightSide’s beer arrived. I looked up five minutes later to see some random three year old take a section of lime out to suck on it. I stared dumbfounded, at a very rare loss for words seeing as this girl’s mother was in the pool with her. Mama finally fussed at the girl to stop, watched her daughter drop the lime back in the ice bucket, and then left it there. WTF?!
But few things rival the group mentality young children fall into as a cluster. Like the day I watched a horde of them chase the biggest freaking iguana I’ve ever seen. Seriously, this thing was a good four feet long, and I found myself wondering exactly what sort of defensive measures a gigantic scaly creature might take when cornered by the mighty midgets. I was desperately hoping it wouldn’t involve bloodshed or the need for heroic measures by (ahem) bystanders. Not that I have a problem with iguanas or anything, but four foot iguanas? Yeah, I’d just as soon stay out of that scrap.