SoCS – sometimes even options aren’t enough

Hair!  Down to there!

Okay, that’s all I remember, some snippet of a song about hair down to there and now it’s stuck in my head, thank-you-very-much-Linda-for-that-prompt.

It’s funny that “hair” came right after yesterday’s post about, well, hair.  Sure, cultural standard of beauty, too, but also hair.  You might be wondering why that’s popped up on the radar lately.

Bear and I have been through quite a few hair stages, from the very beginning puffs to cornrows, box braids to french braids to twists and more.  I’ve always told her how lucky I think she is to have so many choices.  To decide if she feels like going curly or straight, having her hair up or down.  Since my hairstyle choice is ruled by two conditions – frizzy or non frizzy – I know that of which I speak.

Options are a good thing.

But there’ve been a few times now when Bear has asked for extensions.  At first I thought it was just a whim, something she’d seen on a friend or admired on the college players who coached her basketball camp.  But then the request got a little more…intense, for lack of a better word.  I could tell it was more than just a wish to experiment with style.  She actively wanted the extensions themselves; she wanted the long hair.

I realized how much it meant to her when she broke down in Sally’s.  You see, we told her we wouldn’t pay for them (because BIG TIME MOOLA) so she did her research.  Bear found extensions on Amazon that she could afford, so I took her to Sally’s to feel the difference between “affordable” (aka synthetic) extensions and the ones that are Big Time Money.  That was when it all really hit home.

Shortly thereafter the walls came tumbling down.  Wanting to know what it’s like to have long, straight, beautiful hair.  Cruel comments made at school about her hair, months ago…comments that still festered deep inside.  How the pain of even talking about it was almost too much to bear.

All this over hair.

SoCS 2

Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturdays are open to anyone who’d like to participate.  Pop over and give her blog a visit.  This week’s prompt is “wood/would.”

11 thoughts on “SoCS – sometimes even options aren’t enough

  1. My heart just broke at the end. I got a lot of cruel comments in school, not so much about hair, though there was some of that too(mostly when I kept it cut really short). It’s something I hope my own kids don’t have to deal with.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My heart aches when I see her in pain. Everyone warns you about potty training and sassy teens — no one tells you your heart breaks a little every time they get hurt.


    • Isn’t that interesting! I know about that show and I’ve heard of several schools who did their own productions, but I’ve never seen it myself. Wonder how that song got into my head…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The song has been in and out of pop culture since the musical in the 60s. You might have heard a version on the Simpsons, for all you know. Pretty hard to avoid, like mean comments in school. Some people just don’t think before speaking. Some don’t even grow up to regret saying those things 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think you’re right. I go into each year with an open mind, but I have to admit…after a few instances with a particular kid it’s always interesting to meet their parents. That often explains a lot of things.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Gah, that sucks.
    I have already written elsewhere, earlier tonight, we always want the hair we don’t have. For instance, I would like to have nice lie-down hair, preferably straight. No frizz. I know you understand.
    For your daughter, that just sucks. But then, I think we all have like, THE THING. Some kids it’s perfect teeth or karate lessons or fake nails or I dunno, you know? Like the thing parents aren’t willing to shell out for? Sassy likes to keep her hair short lately, and wants to color it all sortsa ways. I agreed to highlights, because she’s already got so many natural ones, I knew it’d be low maintenance. As for the colors, no. Not on my time, and not on my dime. She’ll have a job one day, and she can spend her time in the salon.
    Of course, no one picks on her about it…so yeah, for Bear, that sucks. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    • It really does! And telling her that it sucks doesn’t even begin to cover it. Plus I’m really tempted to tell her to tell that particular girl to f**k off, but y’know, parenting and such.

      Liked by 2 people

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