Imagine this: you’ve reached the end of your time on the Earth.  You’re standing before St. Peter (folks who aren’t on board with the whole Pearly Gates scenario, just roll with me for a minute) and this is what you hear: “Tell me why you deserve to stay in heaven.  You have thirty seconds.  Go.”

You’re faced with arguably the most important pitch of your existence, and the seconds are ticking away.  No pressure, right?

This is what writing titles for the blog feels like.  I have some very loyal friends and family who would probably read my post even if I titled it “the importance of good dental hygiene,” but those folks are gluttons for punishment (aka bound by love).  The rest of the online world has a choice.  To click or not to click, that is the question.

And I have to say that a post on dental hygiene isn’t likely to make me click.

Which takes us back to Riddle from the Middle and the crushing intensity of producing interesting post titles.  I’d like to think I’ve gotten better at this over time.  Here are examples of what I’d consider some of my less stellar titles:

writer’s block (ack!)
kitchen vexations
yay…dentist time!
these kids today…
sweet memories

All of them are directly related to their posts’ topic, but none really scream “Read me, Seymour!” and that clickability factor is critical to a blogger.  Here are a few times when I did better:

Under Armour and a thong (otherwise known as just another Monday morning)
The Santa Talk (at Easter)
when tomboys raise girly girls
teaching is like...(no, not a box of chocolates)
Defend the Homestead!
I'll take "Songs Most Likely to Cause Raucous Car Singing" for 400, Alec.
from Sunday drive to sex shop in 60 seconds or less
caterpillars, butterflies, Jesus, and Aunt Flo
cars, gnats, and my Ghandi-in-training
A Guide to Having Your $#@! Together While Parenting a Tween

See?  Much more attention grabbing (and still relevant to their posts’ topic).

The problem is that damn blinking cursor.  It sits in the Title box, flashing impertinently while I tap my (metaphorical) eraser against my temple.  A title, a title…my kingdom for a title.

A title that catches a reader’s attention and makes them want to know more.  One that screams this girl’s got something to say.  One that grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the blog, then makes you linger long enough to see what I’ve got to say.

Now if only I can figure out how to title a blog post about titles.