Picking noses.  Dropping clipped toenails on the floor.  Leaving dirty dishes in the sink.  I’d say these are some pretty common annoyances across the general population.

I think we can agree that parenting brings its own particular brand of pet peeves to the party.

When kids insist “you didn’t say that” or “I didn’t say that” or “that didn’t happen.”

Kid.  Do not try to gaslight me.  Seriously, just don’t do it because nothing will piss me off faster than you trying to convince me I’m wrong about reality.  Curfews, an assigned chore, consequences, a promise to do something…I do actually remember these things.  Don’t mistake my occasional bumbling of the calendar with senility.

When those lessons on manners just don’t stick.

Apparently receiving gifts well is not an inherent skill.  “I’ve already got that game!”  “I wanted the blue one.”  “Oh…”  We’ve worked on this, we literally practiced, and yet there’ve been some cringeworthy moments in our past that still make me shudder.  I don’t care how cute the kid is, once they’re older than kindergarten they should do better than this.

The fact that it takes your kids four times as much toilet paper to do the job.

Boy, did I struggle with this one.  Give them a square limit and I’m the TP nazi.  Let them have free reign and they’re stopping up toilets left and right.  Talk about a no win situation.

Likelihood of meal consumption directly correlates to amount of prep time and the presence of fake cheese powder.

Five minutes for a hot dog, ten minutes for mac & cheese, fifteen minutes for chicken nuggets and fries – these were all highly successful dinner options for my kids when they were young.  Chicken off the grill?  Hit or miss.  Casseroles?  No chance.  Homemade mac & cheese?  Absolutely not.  And these didn’t even have unusual looking ingredients…

They have no fear of frostbite, severe or otherwise.

I’ve yet to meet a parent who hasn’t battled a kid over coats.  It can be a frosty thirty degrees with gale force winds yet coats are apparently kryptonite to the under ten set.  They will fight tooth and nail to avoid zipping themselves into one…don’t even get me started on the year round shorts.

They have an innate aversion to turning off lights.  Any lights.  Ever.

Want to know where your kid is?  Just follow the trail.  Dropped backpack, sweatshirt tossed aside, hallway light on, bedroom light burning, bathroom light aglow, then into the game room.

Dirty socks by the dozens.

Stiff, crunchy, smelly, dirty socks that bounce when they hit the laundry room floor. Eww.