how to burn 500 calories watching a joint session of congress

BrightSide and I sat front and center (in our family room) as President Trump addressed a joint session of congress on Tuesday night.  BrightSide endured my random commentary as the event amped up, but once the president began speaking I tried to keep my thoughts to myself.  (Mostly successfully, I’d like to think.)  It occurred to me that standing and sitting with the audience would be a good aerobic workout, but a burger and beer won out in the end.

Now, for your (post) speech entertainment, welcome to RFTM’s twitter feed spewing my brain’s meanderings.

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Is it my imagination, or is Donald’s hair less orange?  Has a stylist finally stepped in?  Praise Jesus.  (I know, I know…looks aren’t important.  But the hair was really bugging me.)

Ooh, sequins.  The first lady is actually sparkling.  Wouldn’t it be great if everyone got a standing ovation just for being present?

So he’s tipped his hat to the work still needed in civil rights and specifically condemned the anti-Semitic threats and vandalism running rampant in the U.S.  Points for acknowledging the problem, but his unifying statement stuck in my craw.  If we were a country that “stands united in condemning hate and evil” then we wouldn’t have these crimes committed over and over again.

“Leaving our own borders wide open for anyone to cross”?  Huh?  There’s an extensive vetting process, one that takes up to two years before someone can even enter the U.S. as a refugee.  Are there people entering the country illegally?  Sure.  But I don’t think there’s a flood of folks pouring into the country as we happily wave them in.

Oh. My. Lord.  I seriously need us to stop talking about the election.  There’s only one head honcho at this point.  You won.  You fly on Air Force One and sit in the round room.  Own it.

I keep hearing about this 2 for 1 rule.  Wonder how that would work in my own house.  (You want new headphones?  You’ll have to get rid of two space sucking items in your room first.)

Apparently we’re living in an environment of lawless chaos.  Did I miss the memo on running naked through the streets?

A “great, great wall.”  Does that mean a doubly great wall, like a Super Wall?  Or a great Great Wall, like “Hey, Mike, let’s one up China.”?

You know what I can’t help wondering every time I hear the term “radical Islamic terrorism”?  What exactly would non-radical Islamic terrorism look like?

How tall is Ivanka anyway?  She’s like a glamorous Amazon warrior who just stepped off the pages of Vogue.

Repeal and replace, repeal and replace.  That needs to be cross stitched on a doily.  Oh, and we need more info on that “replace” part.

Why are all those women dressed in white?  [Google it.]  Ahh, a nod to the suffragettes.  Preach, sisters.

“Democrats and Republicans should get together and unite for the good of our country.”  Right on, Donald!  Imagine what we could get done if everyone just –

Paid family leave?  When did that get put on the table?  Awesome.

No argument here about supporting the police officers.  Victims, too.  They can use all the help they can get.

Wait, what?  VOICE?  The Department of Homeland Security is going to create an office for the Victims Of Immigration Crime Engagement?!  For those who have been “ignored by our media, and silenced by special interests”?

What in the everloving f*ck?

Oh my God, that poor widow of the SEAL team member.  How on earth is she keeping it together?  This applause is interminable, how is she not a sobbing mess?  I can’t believe she’s managing to hold on like this.

Geez, she’s hanging on by her teeth now.  Standing ovation, totally deserved, but I’m not sure she’s gonna be able to stay upright.  Damn, can’t someone take her arm or something?

Phew, she made it.

Except I’m not real cool with saying the dead guy’s psyched to break the applause record.

I want to believe we can free people to dream remarkable things.  To invent and create, find cures and restore hope, for all people.

I want to believe we can live in a country where men, women, and children can walk the streets safe from fear.  Not just the fear some feel from an immigrant threat, but the fear immigrants and non-Christians have of violence and persecution in what we call the greatest country on earth.

7 thoughts on “how to burn 500 calories watching a joint session of congress

    • I’m so glad to hear someone else say that! I was writing it and thinking everyone’s gonna be all “what? they’re honoring her husband!” but all I could think was geez, I hope she really wanted to be there because she JUST lost him and for the love, can she *please* sit down now.

      Liked by 1 person

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