Ever had one of those weeks when your brain’s all jumbled? When thoughts are bouncing around like a box of ping pong balls dropped down a flight of stairs? Yeah, it’s been like that around here. For me, anyway.
Which makes writing for Fridays a little difficult since, by their nature, Forever Family posts require focus. After two failed attempts I’ve realized I’m trying to shove a square peg in a round hole, and I’ve given that up for Lent.
Which is how you’ve stumbled onto a random collection of my thoughts once again.
Here is a random collection of pictures to go along with the theme of not having a theme.
The whole “are they biological siblings” question has popped up again twice in as many months, and I’ve found that answering it gets awkward. It shouldn’t, but it does, because this is how the exchange always goes: Are they biological siblings? No, they’re not. Really?! Yes, really. But I’ve always thought they were. A lot of people do. I just assumed you adopted them at the same time. Nope. It’s just that they look so much alike. It’s interesting, isn’t it? This is about the time I start running out of steam. There just aren’t that many more ways to say “no” short of making flash cards.
T-man’s taking his first real health class this year and it’s brought his biological family’s health history to the forefront. He has excellent questions, and I find myself embarrassingly inept at providing information. I need to go look up his records to refresh my memory. This makes me feel like a terrible mom until I remind myself he was ten months old when I got the papers, and a family history of heart disease wasn’t high on my list of concerns at the time.
I know some people say you don’t need a Diaper Genie, that it’s just marketing and another way to sucker new parents. I have to agree, partly – if you’re on a tight budget, the Diaper Genie is definitely not a necessity. But if you have the extra cash to buy replacement bags for a year or two, it is sanity saving not to have to walk poopy diapers outside every time they stink up a room.
Bear found her breaking point this year and, not surprisingly, it was while seeing a good friend get picked on. She’ll leap to someone’s defense in a split second. I pity any girl who breaks T-man’s heart, for she will have invoked the wrath of a loyal-to-the-grave sister.
Someone came in the house yesterday smelling like rabbit and the dogs lost their ever loving minds. I guess they were ready for the hunt.
I’d originally intended to write today’s post on object permanence. At least that’s what I put on my calendar. (Yes, I keep a blog planner – don’t be a hater.) I’m convinced there’s a piece in there somewhere – the development of object permanence in infants, separation anxiety, a connection to adoption issues – but it just won’t gel. Probably because my kids never have gone through a separation anxiety stage. (Any of my adoption/foster blogger friends wanna run with this?)
I’d originally originally planned to do an interview with T-man, but our life has been upside down crazy lately and I haven’t been able to make that happen. Hopefully soon. He’s kinda fun to hang out with these days.
Other Forever Family issues I’d like to address or revisit: attachment, loss or grief, reactions to others’ emotions, handling their own emotions, and feelings about “mystery” birth family members. Any other suggestions?
Some blog posts related to adoption you might want to check out: The adopted ones blog, Amy J. Rio, 4 Kids and a Book, Hot Mess Momma Club, and Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care.
I once worked in a school where the faculty decided each class should be a kind of pep squad for an athlete. One teacher suggested we call the program “Adopt an Athlete” but my principal, who had adopted her own children, gently guided us toward “Sponsor an Athlete” instead. At the time I had no idea why it mattered. What a difference life experience makes.
I meant to say people usually DO mean well. That will teach me to proofread!
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😆 Oh gracious, do I understand that!
Thanks for sharing your story…I try to keep things in perspective. That what bothers me as something that could make my kids feel odd might not matter to them at all.
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I have a theory that people will ask questions about adopted kids, (especially obviously adopted) that they would never dream of asking someone about their biological kids. I used to have tons of examples, but you reminded me- our oldest son is Lumbee Indian and our daughter is half Mexican, half white or Anglo, and we used to get the Are they really brother and sister thing a lot. I always tried to be good natured about it because people usually don’t meant well, but they didn’t really look much alike. Had forgotten all about that until a few weeks ago. She is now 23 and is at UNCG and works after school care from 3-6 at Blessed Sacrament. Our very blonde blue eyed youngest who you might remember from Lee Bros had stayed after for some reason, and when I picked him up, his sissy laughingly told me about how some of the little kids hadn’t believed he was her little brother. I thought, well, if it doesn’t bother them, that’s very cool.
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Love your ping pong ball imagery. And great pics too!
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Thanks!
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I know LOTS of adopted people who look like they’re NOT adopted. I think it’s meant to be, plus the mannerisms. We all model our own clan. Belonging is well beyond biology.
Can I just say, I didn’t want a diaper genie? I was an ‘out to the bin’ kinda mom cause I’d been an ‘out to the bin’ auntie. The other one — the changing table. Never used it. It held stuff, never the baby. But see, I think that’s just part of the job. Moms do what works for them. Round pegs in square holes — doesn’t matter the subject.
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I do, too! Don’t know why I’m surprised by that since people come in a zillion shades, & some of those mannerisms are dead on.
And yes, we usually are what we learn. 😉
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out playing with some bunnies?
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My best guess was that she owned a bunny…? I was too distracted to ask!
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