Monday’s boo brings Thursday’s muse

Sunday was a BOO day.  Monday wasn’t much better.  There were still lots of naps on Tuesday but hey, you gotta look at the up side after finally keeping breakfast down, right?

And now, since no one’s interested in a blow by blow account of how I am or am not better, I bring you this fantastically random assortment of sickly annoyances.  Courtesy of Wednesday’s car rider line.

You Know Being Sick Sucks When…

**  You feel like you’re dying but you don’t look like you’re dying, so unless you have a “death on a cracker” t-shirt then no one knows you feel like hell and are only retaining about 6% of what they’re saying to you.

**  You need to blow your nose every two minutes in a desperate attempt to keep your head from exploding, but you can’t keep a tissue box by your side because you don’t have the strength to fight off Gracie and her utter compulsion to devour any tissue in sight.

**  Your body swings from submerged-in-hot-lava to dunked-in-cold-water and back again.  In an instant every surface cell breaks into a sweat like you’ve eaten a Serrano pepper on a hot summer’s day.  Suddenly the roots of your hair are damp and you feel like you’ve run a 5k (or so I hear).  You consider changing into something else but know you’ll simply sweat through that outfit, too.  Plus it means more laundry when you’re finally better.

**  You are certain compressing your head in an industrial vise would hurt less than the headache that has taken up residence in your skull.  (AND WHAT ARE WE PAYING THE DAMN DRUG COMPANIES FOR ANYWAY IF THEY CAN’T KILL A SIMPLE HEADACHE?!)

**  You find yourself physically incapable of hounding the kids to (pick up, do their chores, finish their homework, eat something) but are mentally alert enough to be pissed off when they don’t do it on their own.

**  The fact that the comfort of a dog snuggling up to me is counterbalanced by approximately 400° of canine body heat.  (See “submerged in hot lava” above.)

**  You find yourself enduring the food dance of recovery – I think I might be hungry.  Yes, this might be hunger, I remember this feeling.  Unless I’m nauseated because I haven’t eaten all day, then crackers will fix me right up.  Unless it’s because I’m actually nauseated and my body insists on rejecting sustenance, then I’ll just end up tossing my cookies.  But I want to eat something…but I don’t want to throw up… – until someone finally finds you passed out on the couch and insists you have some soup.


My friends, you have been more than patient with me and my icky sicky talk this week.  I promise I am on the mend.  Now excuse me while I find some wood to knock on.

15 thoughts on “Monday’s boo brings Thursday’s muse

  1. Sorry you have been sick….as a person with a severe phobia to vomiting (I even belong to an online support group for Emetophobics) you have just described my worst nightmare!
    I hate to tell you but the sweats you described are exactly like “hot flashes”. The first time I had one, I could honestly feel water pop out of each and every pore on my head and within a minute I was drenched. Thankfully after more than 10 years of that loveliness, I think I may be done. The real test will be this summer when it gets hot and humid and I have to wear clothes!
    So glad you are on the mend……

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ugh…hot flashes aren’t out of the question, it just would have been odd timing. Or maybe not. I guess I’ll get hot flashes whether I’m sick or not — gee, doesn’t that sound super fun.

      Like

      • You probably are safe for now! Sounds more like flu crap since you also got cold…I am supposed to go on a girl’s weekend and my sister just called and said our mother has the stomach flu…which of course, now has me in a tizzy. During the stomach flu season (which I thought was well over) I rarely leave my house and do not even get take-out food. If I HAVE to go out somewhere and eat, I bring my own silverware, napkin and order something to drink in a bottle so I don’t have to drink out of a glass and try to figure out something to eat that maybe no one has touched and NEVER use the bathroom and bring my own anti-bacterial wet wipes for my hands. My family and friends think I am nuts but a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do, right? I can tell you for sure, that if my mom does actually make it tomorrow, I will NOT be eating anything she touched!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

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