I’ve always been allergic to yard work.
Okay, okay, not technically allergic, although once we moved to the Obscenely High Pollen state of NC I could probably put that on a medic alert bracelet without being too far from the truth. Stepping outside right now is akin to an assault on my lungs.
But I digress.
My aversion to yard work started long, long ago in the days of free child labor (aka growing up in the ’70s). There were few things quite as torturous as being sent out to pull weeds or spread mulch. The grass made me itchy, the bugs stuck to my sweaty skin, and I hated pretty much everything having to do with overheating in the yard.
So I stuck to indoor chores. Vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, even dusting – dusting! – in order to avoid working in the yard. I was even willing to dust the enormous screen – a wooden folding room divider made up of hundreds of slats. I had to dust it with Pledge and a freaking Q-tip, but it was still better than being sent out to work in the grass.
My sister got her cardio in by mowing the lawn…I should ask her sometime if that was voluntary or simply assigned to the oldest child…either way it saved me the trauma of pushing that machine through itchy grass on the hottest of summer days. I owe Bee a pretty big debt for that one.
Even today, BrightSide carries the bulk of yard work responsibilities, and he’s a pretty good sport to do it since I’m not exactly Susie Homemaker when it comes to keeping a sparkling clean house. I used to be able to help with big projects like weeds or mulch, but now that my back’s a liability I can’t even do that so he’s basically the reason we don’t get kicked out of our neighborhood for infractions involving “ramshackle” and “downtrodden.”
Me? I’m sticking to the yard work allergy excuse.
Visit Linda’s blog for her weekly stream of consciousness feature. This week’s prompt is “yard.”
Riddle from the Middle 
As you know, I love to work in the garden. But I’ve had two kids like you so yeah, I do sometimes let them do inside work over out. My husband is NOT a yard man. We all have allergies and we take meds and they work for us. There are no nature aversion pills, and so those people should do less dusty work, like dishes and laundry 😉
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The kids and I all suffer, right now my son & I have it the worst. Can’t seem to find a med that works for him and mine are hit and miss at best. I’m pretty much hiding inside for the foreseeable future. Sounds like you’ve got a system that’s working for your brood. 🙂
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It’s alright, I don’t complain MUCH. 😉
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Pledge and a Q-tip? I’d rather cut the grass 🙂
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yeah. now that I think about it, this does kind of sound like one of those eternal punishments sort of thing…push a boulder up a hill over and over again…moving rice one grain at a time…dusting furniture with a Q-tip.
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When we first moved here 18 years ago, I was younger and more energetic – and, having lived where there was only patios, no yard, for several years, jumped in head first and created lots of flower beds. Too many flower beds, it turns out now. In addition, with husband gone and no one to share the yard work, I am less interested than I used to be. So now I hire out the spring raking of pine needles and pine cones, and am more tolerant of the flower beds doing their own thing. I’d rather sit outside and look at it all than actually doing it all.
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Sounds like a perfect plan to me. You’re helping the economy (or at least the people you hire to handle spring raking) and I’ve always thought wild flower beds were just as beautiful as perfectly groomed ones. The time sitting and enjoying the space is worth more than having color coordinated beds.
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My excuse for delaying yard work is, I’m exercising my right to procrastinate. Doesn’t that sound all official 🙂 I posted a couple weeks ago that I had started cleaning flowerbeds, well they’re still not done. Slightly sheepish smile. In my defence we’ve had lots of snow and rain since then. Today is sunny so it’s on my to do list, but I might be able to find an excuse not to. 🙂
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It’s a perfectly valid lifestyle as far as I’m concerned. Plus snow and rain?! Why on earth would you be out cleaning flowerbeds in that mess?? Nope, sounds like you’re right on track to me.
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If you’re in the Southeastern USA, you can add Fire Ants to the mix. They don’t start biting until they have a full squadron in place.
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Fire ants, good grief. I’ve been blessed not to run into this particular attack but have handled my kids when they’re in full on panic mode as those evil critters bite the bejeebers out of their feet and ankles. It’s not pretty.
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Love the #SOC stuff because it feels like a conversation, Laura. Hi.
The pollens of North Carolina attack the lining of my nasal canal (is that even a thing?) like butter on toast. They invade my skull somehow and make me feel like someone left the sprinklers on inside my head.
I’m so with you, as a kid, with yard work! My dad made me haul firewood and crush aluminum cans with a broken axle.
I would like someone to refer to me as ramshackle one day. Also, daft.
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Like butter on toast sounds like a perfect description for what happens when the pollen count goes through the roof. The alert’s gone off on my phone for about 30 days straight here, and every time it does I think “well okay then, another day of headaches and stuffiness — joy.”
Daft is a perfectly lovely adjective, isn’t it? 😉
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I’d read the pollen report, if my eyes weren’t coated like Old Bay spice on a cob of corn, Laura.
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Bwahahahaha!!! omg, I’d laugh myself silly if this wasn’t so freaking true…
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It’s sick that I keep thinking, “I can’t wait until summer swelter arrives, because there will be no more pollen.”
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