today’s five Y chromosome questions

Listen.  Everyone sweats.  I get that.  But could someone please explain what sort of toxic sweat pours out of the bottom of men’s feet?  There’s gotta be some kind of killer enzyme in there.


While I’m not philosophically opposed to men coloring their hair – that would be pretty hypocritical of me, after all – I can’t quite figure out what makes older men decide to dye their hair jet black.  What makes someone think this looks good?  On anyone?


There seems to be a marked difference between men and women when it comes to salvageable underwear.  One loose thread or stretched out elastic band and out they go for women.  But men?  Underwear with holes, rips, zero elastic left…if it still serves its basic function then it’s still sitting in the drawer.


What’s the deal with stubble?  If it’s scratchy to someone else’s face then why on earth isn’t the man clawing at that scrawny, pokey, abrasive facial hair?


So you’re off traveling, and everyone begins unpacking.  Why oh why are men always surprised we don’t bring toothpaste when they carry a big old toiletries bag that holds a tube of toothpaste just fine?

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