human bathrooms vs. hibernating bears: it’s a no brainer

Okay, we can probably agree that public bathrooms are nobody’s favorite place to pass the time.  Some facilities are nicer than others, but the plain truth is that bears like to do their business in the woods while we tend to prefer the privacy of our own homes.

Interesting fact:  Hibernating bears can go the whole winter without going to the bathroom.

But until we figure out how to hold it like a sleepy bear, humans have to deal with public bathrooms.

some serious wtf issues with life in public restrooms

**  What sort of massive biohazards are companies expecting in their bathrooms these days?  I open the door and am immediately submersed in an overpowering cloud of sickly sweet perfume.  I look up and see the deoderizer attached high on the wall, a steady stream of toxic fumes pouring into the small room, and wonder if I can knock it down with a solid purse strike.

**  I hesitate to give a great deal of thought as to why restroom floors are so grimy.  Okay, sure, maybe some pee around the toilet if you’ve got folks with particularly bad aim (but again, in the women’s room?!), but why are my shoes making that thwwaaack noise peeling off tile as I cross in front of the sinks?

**  Let’s get real for a moment.  Many of us deal with Lady Time once a month (oh joy), a personal issue that almost always involves a public restroom at one time or another.  But can we please, please address the girls who don’t take care of business?  They put a freaking disposal box right there in the stall; how hard is it to wrap up your product and throw it away?  I’ll answer that.  It’s not.  You’d rather flush?  Well, fine.  But how about you check to see that your particular item actually left the bowl?  Because I can’t tell you what a delightful conversation I enjoyed with Bear after she found a bloody tampon in a toilet three years ago.

**  In theory, automated systems cut down on germs in there.  No faucets to turn on the water, no pumps for the hand soap, no handles to get paper towels.  This all seems like a great plan right up until I face an automatic sink shooting water like a firehose.  That stuff ricochets up off the sink, soaking my shirt, and I’m wondering if killing germs was worth the enormous water splotches covering my chest.

**  Automated soap dispensers have become a thing for, again, germ management.  Cool beans, but I’m befuddled as to why companies mount these between the sinks.  Some of these sensors seem to think we need half a cup to cleanse properly, so if you move your hand even a second too soon you end up with a big puddle of soapy suds on the floor.

**  The first time I used one of those Xlerator dryers it was like magic.  Dry hands in 3.4 seconds flat.  But I was completely distracted by the sight of air blowing so hard it made the skin on my hands vibrate, so much so that I failed to realize what was happening.  Guess what can burn your hands if you leave them under the blower too long?  Yep.

**  I don’t have a problem with paper towels.  I do have a problem with people who wash their hands, use a couple of towels, miss the trash can while throwing them out, then leave them on the floor.  I’m sorry, princess…did you forget to bring along your personal assistant so you wouldn’t have to bend over?  Aww…so sad.  Now pick up your trash.

18 thoughts on “human bathrooms vs. hibernating bears: it’s a no brainer

  1. I once worked in an office where everything in the bathroom was automated – lights worked on a motion sensor, so if you found youself sitting too long on the toilet without moving (maybe 30 seconds or so), the lights would cut out leaving you sitting in the dark. But knowing this little foible, if you tried to remind it you were still there by moving around a bit you found if you jiggled about too much the automatic flush would start, even though you weren’t anywhere near ready for it… 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Ahhh. Public bathrooms. I wrote a post about the trials of the women’s room a while back. But here’s a thought that maybe I should’ve left in the dark…. all those automated gadgets to cut down on germs. They’re worthless when you get to the bathroom door because the people who haven’t washed their hands use that handle to get out. Granted, I use a paper towel to open the door when I can, but it’s not always feasible. Like when they don’t have paper towels. Hence the anti-bac that I have hanging from my purse to use when I get out of there. IMHO, they should have a foot pedal that you push to open the door.
    Oh, and on a side note, I went into the worst bathroom scenario I’ve ever experienced just the other day. Two toilets, one was clogged. The other one actually had poo ON THE FLOOR! Of course it smelled really bad in there. It was a women’s room too, not a single in a gas station type deal. I’m a country girl and I’ve seen cleaner barns than that bathroom. Gag.

    Liked by 1 person

    • YIKES. Don’t you wonder what the story is there? I mean, how does poop end up on the FLOOR?? And you’re right about exiting the restroom…I’ve seen some women pull off ninja moves getting that door open with their foot. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I avoid public bathrooms like the plague. But if I have to use one and it is clean and actually “cheery” I will post it on my FB page for all to see (not literally…I do not take a selfie in the bathroom!!!). I was at a funeral home a few months ago that had one of the best bathrooms I had ever seen plus being nice everywhere else and I decided then and there, THAT is where I want my service. I told my mom who was also there, that I was going to have her service there also and she said in a disgusted tone, “Oh, I don’t want to be in —— (the name of the small town near the bigger town where she lives). Like she was going to know!
    Everyone in the industry that cares about their customers should make their “Ladies” rooms nice and keep them spotless because we CARE about such things and if I go into a restaurant and their ladies room is gross, I can only imagine what their kitchens must look like.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So true!!! I do notice the places who put a little effort in. Someone asked me once why it was such a big deal to find a little basket of pads & tampons sitting on the counter…I was like, YOU try unexpectedly starting your period in white shorts & then we’ll talk about being grateful for the little things.


      • I never wore white anything after going all day not knowing I had sat in some chocolate that my hubs had dropped on the car seat and I had a big brown splotch right where my butt was and I had sashayed my shame all over the department store that I had been working at that morning. It was only after meeting my sister for lunch and leaving the restaurant that she noticed my splotched and told me. God keeps me humble in many a way………

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I hate the automatic sinks that you have to wave and wave than hold your tongue right before the water comes out, but I guess not as much as the older push to activate styles where by the time you get your hands into the water it stops. Have you ever encountered and therefore wondered how does poop sometimes get on the walls. 😦 Really people, WTF

    Liked by 1 person

    • I honestly don’t get this. I figure it’s got to do with the amount of time men have to spend in the restroom. You guys can get in and out in a flash while we’re investing at least five minutes (in a best case scenario) — maybe the horrifying conditions aren’t as painful if you limit exposure…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. OMG, Laura, the bathroom at my office smells like I’ve walked into an orange. Like, a literal orange. I choke every Monday like I’m surprised. Citrus BOMB! Poof!
    But one day they changed it to strawberry and it was vomit-inducing, so I don’t complain about the orange now 😉
    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Joey. I’d say the citrus ones aren’t awful but come on, we know they are, no one likes feeling like an artificial orange has been shoved down their nasal cavity. I’m struggling with the one at our church. No idea what that one is — some massively overwhelming combination of flowers, I think — but I literally have to hold my breath in there. And since my lung capacity sucks that means I have about 26 seconds before someone’s gonna find me passed out with my drawers around my ankles….

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Sunday Share: Week 21 | All In A Dad's Work

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