seriously? you cannot possibly think this plan is going to work

Last I heard Bear was aiming for professional basketball player or a brain surgeon when it comes to life goals.  Basketball.  Or surgery.

After I was fully supportive of my daughter’s ambitions I tactfully slipped in that she might want to consider becoming a lawyer.  What with her proclivity of arguing things into the ground and all.

I’m by no means the only parent dealing with this particular joy.  The struggle is real, especially as kids get more verbal (and convinced they know more than their parents).  But Bear has shown a particularly poor sense of timing when it comes to pushing to get what she wants.

Last fall Bear was halfway across the neighborhood, playing at a friend’s house, while I was working at home.  I was juggling laundry, dogs, and finishing a post when I heard the bright DING! of my text alert.  Shenanigans ensued:

Bear: Can I be allowed to text Lin and Dak?
[monkey emoji, smiley face emoji]
me: No for now. We can discuss as a family this weekend.
Bear: But T-man got a phone
me: Seriously? T-man didn’t have a phone OR text in 5th grade. You might not want to do this with me over text.
Bear: Sorry I just really want to text friends
me: Let’s talk later. [heart emoji]
Bear: Ok sorry sorry sorry
[wailing emoji, shocked emoji, kiss blown emoji]

Bear walked through the door that afternoon and I just looked at her, cocking an eyebrow.  I mean, really?  Who pesters their mom about getting permission to text…over text?  Duh.

It was almost as good as the battle waged last month.  BrightSide and I had gone to dinner with sista-friend and Big D.  It takes us ages to coordinate an evening out, so we guard our time together jealously.  We’d finally found an evening when all four of us were free and grabbed the chance to go to a local hibachi place.  We’d just gotten our drinks when my phone started dinging.

Bear: What’s my Apple ID
Bear: Password
Bear: I NEED YOU AND T-MAN WON’T LEND ME HIS PHONE
[angry face emoji]

You’ll notice that was a particularly one-sided conversation.  I wish I could say it was on purpose, but the reality is I didn’t catch the messages until the last one came through.  Not that I would have responded if I’d seen them.

It was about then that we realized Bear was simultaneously lighting up BrightSide’s phone.  She went on and on about what she needed and T-man being mean and how she couldn’t even borrow his phone to call us and she needed to talk to BrightSide right that moment.  I watched the texts fly fast and furious for a few minutes before asking my beloved to hand me his phone.

BrightSide: You need to work it out and stop acting like 5 year olds
Bear: I can’t get T-man to let me use his phone this is another reason why I should get one
[audible snap of my patience wearing out]
me: I AM ON DATE NIGHT WITH YOUR DAD AND TEXTING ME ABOUT NEEDING A PHONE IS **NOT** IN YOUR BEST INTEREST. STOP IT UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY.
Bear: Sorry

Bear’s a pretty smart cookie – she can usually find 101 ways to persuasively argue her side.  But these exchanges?  These have a distinctive wtf? quality to them that makes me wonder if she had a brief break with reality.

Not that this would necessarily run contrary to any lawyerly aspirations.

19 thoughts on “seriously? you cannot possibly think this plan is going to work

  1. I love the irony here… You could argue with her why she should be a lawyer and she’ll argue that she doesn’t want to be one and when she wins the argument she still won’t see why she should be a lawyer 🙂 My 4th grader has been asking for a phone. He got the same response as Bear. What I’m curious about is how she sends you a text without one.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed this post. Ahh the joys of motherhood. 🙂 I sure miss those days. It’s a whole new kettle of fish, this mothering of adults. Give me the terrible twos or the sassy sixteens any day over the “too old to listen to you” twenties!

    Hold tough, Mama. You can do it and some day she’ll thank you for not giving in on this. We can hope, right?

    Have a blessed day!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ahh, the argument is real! Our 11 yr old foster daughter is the same but we’re really mean and let her have very little technology. She has her tablet that stays in an open area that she can play games on. We made her delete all social media sites from it and won’t allow a phone, mostly out of safety concerns and we saw what happened when we allowed our 17 yr old foster daughter that we had last year to have a phone. Trust me, it was nothing good! I’m with you on being happy that this stuff wasn’t around when I was growing up. I think my life was way better for it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely. And like I always say, if you’re not in the running for meanest parents of the year, you aren’t doing it right. 😉 I think about getting a t-shirt made all the time because apparently NOBODY else’s parents has the sort of rules we have. My friend’s daughter ran into a lot of trouble using social media in her teens, so that was an eye opener for me…

      Liked by 1 person

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