odds and ends 6/1/17

1.  The car rider pick up line in North Carolina is a special hell for environmentalists right now.  Idling for 30 minutes = bad for the environment.  Overheated, dizzy driver = bad for the cars.  What to do, what to do…

2.  Why can’t they get bird sounds onto white noise machines?  They make a lovely blend of sound coming from the trees, but coming from the speaker it’s like I’m back in the Tiki Room at Disney World.

3.  I say put on sunscreen, they hit their cheeks and nose, and guess who comes home burned.  You can lead a horse to water…

4.  Gracie’s taken to drooling while at the vet and kennel.  And by “drooling” I mean frothing at the mouth until she’s dripping on the floor.

  • One kind employee suggested it might be due to nerves, except Gracie seems to like both of these places.  A lot.
  • Since I can’t read the dog’s mind I guess I’ll never know.

5.  There’s nothing quite like the look on someone’s face when my 80 pound dog looks up with slobber dripping down her neck.

6.  I’ve seen ladies clutch their purse sized dogs closer.

7.  Thank God we haven’t run into any kids while Gracie looks insanely rabid.

8.  My friend rode seven miles on her bike Tuesday and was planning to ride ten more yesterday.

9.  I’ll just repeat that.  Ten more miles.  I can’t even imagine.

  • Right now I’m in the “successfully climbed three flights of stairs without passing out” stage of physical fitness.  Miles?  On a bike?!  Puh-lease.

10.  Can I get a hallelujah for whoever designed my swimsuit this year?  The one made of a sports bra with a loose tank over top of it.  I can eat a supersize order of nachos in this baby without batting an eye.

11.  Poolside – flip flops, water shoes, or barefoot?  I say anything but barefoot.  I’ve seen more kids go flying than I care to count.

12.  Is it just me, or is it impossible to watch kids act nutty poolside without shouting, “Walk!”?

13.  Plus is it just me, or do kids abruptly slow down if you yell it in just the right tone?

14.  When did kids stop, I don’t know, swimming when they go to the pool?  Diving boards, pool games, Marco/Polo, sure, but now they come armed to the teeth with a bevy of pool toys to entertain them.

15.  And not to be a killjoy, but if you nail me with your super soaker while I’m sitting on the side of the pool talking with my friend, I’m gonna be kind of annoyed.  I know that makes me the crabby old lady at the pool.

16.  I’m okay with that.

17.  For a person who feels so connected to nature, I find myself oddly offended when it becomes intrusive.

18.  I found a tick on my toe last weekend – on my toe – and was pissed.  At the tick.  For doing what ticks do.  But, for real, tick…what are you doing on my toe??

19.  Insect bites, too.  I came back from the lake with seven bites, all on the left side of my body.  Two toes, one ankle, one knee, one thigh, one forearm, one neck.  But all on my left side?  What’s that about?

20.  I think the butt scritch might be a universal pleasure for dogs.  Does anyone else call it a butt scritch?  I do, and my dogs are ridiculously happy when they get one.

21.  Now I  wonder what other words I might be using that I’ve plain old made up.  Like nudge.  (Pronounced nüdge.)  My mom said it, as in, “Don’t be a nudge.”

22.  BrightSide was kind enough to bring home Subway last night – mmmmm, subs.  Bear was out of the house when he called so I texted to ask what she’d like, and she answered, “pizza.”  ???  So I text, “Really?” and Bear comes back with “Not really” and a sandwich order.  Smart aleck.

23.  I wonder if rock, paper, scissors is a cross cultural experience.  If kids everywhere work out turns or captains by smacking their fists into their palms.  I wouldn’t be surprised, but I still think it’s funny when adults do it.

24.  “When adults do it.”  Snigger.

  • Yes, I occasionally have the sense of humor of a teeny bopper.

25.  Six and a half days of school left.  Six and a half.  Whoop whoop!

26.  On the flip side, EOGs.  Ugh.

  • For those of you blissfully unaware of this particular brand of torture, beginning in third grade students sit (and sit, and sit) for hours of End of Grade testing.  Math, Language Arts, and (beginning in fifth grade) Science.
  • No matter how many ways we say do your best, take your time, it’s going to be fine, the kids still freak out.  Let the pointless stressing begin.

27.  The last day’s a half day.  I don’t know if I object to the half day per se, but I can’t help but wonder: why do they get up at the crack of dawn for it?  There’s no instruction, no testing, no I-don’t-know-what-else going on, they just have to log the last few hours.  So why on earth don’t they roll in around 10:00am?

28.  We have a lab mix and a golden retriever.  Both water breeds.  It will be interesting to see if they like to swim.  Though I’m not sure what to do with a huge dog floundering about in water, so I sure hope those canine instincts kick in.

29.  Or that I get super strength before the weekend.  Either would work.

30.  We’re ready to roll on into the summer.  Beyond ready, really.  Everyone with me?

5 thoughts on “odds and ends 6/1/17

  1. Nice list. Just a couple of thoughts: Totally with you on the last day thing – why not sleep in? Recorded bird sounds don’t work. 10 miles on a bike isn’t that bad. If you start with 5, you’ll be done before you know it. When I start riding, I start with small loops. 5 miles to start. When I’m regularly riding two of those, I move to a 10 mile loop. PRetty soon, you ‘ll be so bored, you will be planning longer rides to get new scenery.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great, relatable post! I nag about sunscreen SOOOOO much, and I have two kids even whiter than me! So annoying! And how she whines when she crisps up. Ugh.
    EOG is the worst. For two weeks, Moo was tragically concerned she would test too well and be moved up a grade leaving all her friends behind. We explained that ultimately WE could decide that, that couldn’t MAKE her — and in a weird way, I’m happy to report she was 7 points below, lol!
    I did over 6000 steps today and that’s why the kids are cutting chicken while I type this 🙂 Cycle? Psh, Cycle through another mojito 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cycle through another mojito, bwahahahaha!!!
      Seriously, the kids are so jacked up about these EOGs. Our school had a PEP RALLY last week and random events “supporting” the kids — inspirational posters from the younger grades, goodie bags in class — no words.
      My last few years teaching were in 3rd grade. It was a private school so they didn’t do EOGs, but that was the first year they administered a standardized test to “evaluate” where students fell. Those kids stripped YEARS off their lives, stressing stressing stressing. One kid threw up during the test. They talk about EOG review prep now…the weeks before the test all I reviewed with them was breathing techniques and stress management. Sheesh.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s hard to relate to. I know. I am glad my kids are getting older, if I had to start now, I might be tempted to homeschool. :/ But as we know, due to our backgrounds, socialization…

        Liked by 1 person

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