This week has been full of adulting. Life and such, you know. I won’t bore you with the details.
Forever Family is on vacation today. Instead, here are some links to check out (along with the most memorable hook from each). Happy reading!
“In an act of solidarity, Victor has decided to go on the diet with me, which seems incredibly sweet except that it seems crazy easy for him and he’s a dude so he basically doesn’t eat a sandwich for one afternoon and loses 87 pounds and becomes immortal.”
“It took everything in my power not to yell, “HOLY CRAP THAT LOOKS LIKE A BOMB!!”.”
“But if I am holding an amber beer in my hand, I am not talking about naptimes. If I hear shop from your lips, I am ordering you three more martinis and getting you shitfaced until you start solving the world’s problems based on this crazy theory you had when you were 22. Then I’m driving your relaxed, adult ass back home.”
“I want to get dressed all by myself.
KID: Beep beep beep, you are a robot.
A. I am NOT an F’ing robot. B. Stop pressing my nipples. They are NOT buttons.”
“10.) Older child gets lice. Lose a turn. Pay $50 for lice shampoos and wire combs.
11.) You get lice. Lose a turn.
12.) You briefly thank your lucky stars that younger child does not have enough hair to get lice. Advance one space! YOU WILL WIN THIS GAME IF IT KILLS YOU AND OMG, THE GAME KILLING YOU LOOKS LIKE AN ACTUAL, REAL POSSIBILITY.“