word nerdiness may not make me low maintenance, but it does make me easily entertained

I’m a word nerd.  It’s one of many fun facts about me, if I do say so myself.  How many people do you know who can make up letter games on the fly when she’s stuck in a four hour traffic jam with kids in the car?  Or enjoy nearly any reading material supplied in a waiting room.  Or make herself perfectly content with a pen and paper/napkin/envelope in a pinch.

I’d love to say that makes me low maintenance, but I think we all know better than that.

My word nerdiness and peculiar particular sense of humor combined early on to make greeting cards akin to sport for me.  Yes, it’s true – I love greeting cards.  I know these days that’s like something from the Mesozoic Era but sue me, I enjoy the hunt.  And then I share the joy with our U.S. postal service.

So if paper is my crack, what does that make greeting cards?  Well, for my fellow word nerds this really needs no explanation, but I recognize we’re not exactly a majority population.  (However, given that we’re in the blogging world, those stats might be skewed.)  At any rate, it works like this.

I stand in the middle of the stationary section, basking in the glow of its sheer volume of greeting cards.  Then I find the humor section because those are really the only ones worth hunting through.  But it can’t be just any old section with “Humor” slapped over top of it…they have to be the cards that are actually humorous to grab my attention.  If the store threw a bunch of “it’s your birthday, now you’re ancient” crap on the racks then I just keep on moving.  Ditto for mindless drunk redneck and bimbo in bikini cards.  Call me elitist.

But when I’m lucky – exquisitely lucky – I’ll happen upon sections that are witty.  Surprising.  Laugh out loud funny.

The choices have gotten better over the years.  Used to be the only place I could reliably find funny was Hallmark since they carried Shoebox cards and, eventually, Far Side.  These days Target has several read-worthy lines, including Papyrus and a line called justWink that’s hysterical.  Seriously, it’s not at all unusual for me to lose up to an hour just…browsing.  Which doesn’t exactly help when it comes to Target, but bygones.

And when I actually find the perfect card?  Or, on a good day, two or three?  Well, I’m not an actual hunter so I can’t be certain but I imagine it’s a lot like what they call the thrill of the kill.  A warm feeling spreads from my toes to my nose, and my brain gets all joyous and jingling.  Kind of like having chocolate cake with an espresso.

Calling all word nerds.  Stand up, peeps, loud and proud, and find your giggles where you can.

14 thoughts on “word nerdiness may not make me low maintenance, but it does make me easily entertained

  1. Yes! The aisle of cards! I can spend a lot of time just standing there reading them. I do have a hard time selecting one to give to somebody, though. What they call humor isn’t very funny, to me. Some are downright nasty! I do like those that used an actual retro photograph on them, then said something snarky. A lot of times I just give up, and make my own to give. 🙂

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    • It does make me wonder who they hire to write most of those things. And how much they pay them. Because *I* could write that stupid “humor” section if I killed half my brain cells and wired myself to think boobies are funny. 😉 The retro ones are AWESOME. As are the pet photos.

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  2. I’ve wondered the same thing. I could probably come up with better ones, too! Funny story…my husband was looking for a card for me for something or other (I wasn’t there). He saw an older couple taking a photo of themselves with a card or two. They explained instead of buying each other a card, they just found some they liked at the store, and took a photo of it for each other. haha…but really, cards are so expensive, it’s a pretty good idea. 🙂

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  3. I was going to say, “cheap entertainment” but if you’re buying them the prices on some are getting crazy. I do agree some of the humor is getting better though and I often laugh out loud when reading.

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  4. Word nerds and paper addicts unite! One of my favorite jobs was at the card shop, which I believe I share with you. I love to do the same, although it seems I’m not doing it anymore…
    Kinda typical that I find the best cards, but in a twist, my FIL is the card-shopper of his couple and he does an outstanding job as well. 🙂

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  5. I have embarrassed my daughter more than once when we would be the card section and I would laugh hysterically at some funny card. I used to then buy it, but I refuse to spend the kind of money that cards now cost. What is with that? $7-8 bucks for a card that doesn’t do anything? No stinkin’ way. I just use the millions of blank cards I have collected back before the internet and write my own sentiment. I think people care more for what you write (and if it is birthday card/grad/retirement/etc. how much you put $$$ into the card!) than the card itself. Call me Scrooge, but I would rather add $5 to the amount I give, then blow it on a card that will just get tossed away. And any grandparent will tell you that a homemade card from a grand is better than all the Hallmark cards in the world!

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    • I tell my kids this all the time and they just roll their eyes! If they only knew how many of their teachers had commented to me on their notes to them over the years (I’m willing to get Christmas and end of year gifts, but they’re old enough to write a nice note to their own teachers), and I know my parents have loved getting handmade cards and crafts.

      It’s funny, but I do have a limit…I think it’s around $3.99. A card has to be REALLY funny for me to spend $4 on it. Like, make my friend pee her pants when she opens it kind of funny. I found THE BEST b-day card for my niece the summer she turned 18 and was heading to college. Can’t quite remember what it said but the front was a cartoon drawing of a hamster doing a keg stand (except with his water bottle). Wow, that sounds totally lame when I write it but trust me, it was FUNNY.

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