Boy, nothing pisses me off more than ulterior motives.

Yeah, I know, most of us have them most of the time, but still…is it too much to ask for a little transparency?  I think a good dose of refreshing honesty would do us all a ton of good.

Aren’t you excited about the kids’ field trip on Friday?  Well, no, not really.  The zoo’s a stretch on the best of days – add in 85 degree weather and four kindergarten classes and we’re talking points off purgatory.

Thank you for volunteering to organize the school’s bake sale!  Yeah.  Sure.  Begging parents to donate baked goods isn’t really my thing, and I’m seriously hampered in the volunteer gathering area since I can’t use blackmail.  But since our school has, like, zero funding…

Would you be willing to serve on the PTO/church committee/neighborhood watch/class party committee?  Uh…wow…I’m honored you’d ask.  Really.  I’d be happy to.  Oh!  And would you like to buy $50 worth of fundraiser items from my kid?  Since we’re talking and all.

Those are all relatively benign motives, though.  The ones that piss me off are the sneaky, underhanded, I’m-out-to-get-mine sort of ulterior motives.

A natural disaster strikes.  (Man, aren’t we getting our share of those right now?)  We see examples of good people stepping up, but then there always seem to be those splashy folks.  The ones who might raise a lot of money but end up centering the spotlight squarely on themselves.  Politicians or businessmen who take advantage of the situation for their own gain.  (Personally, I’d like to string up the folks who sell milk for $10 a gallon after a hurricane or massive flood.  I doubt the neighbors would mind.)

The stores that suck you in with bait and switch.  Yes, I know it’s a valid economic business move, but it still feels really underhanded.  Especially when you end up with the short end of the stick.  In the end.  (Boy, you gotta love stream of consciousness.)

I say we toss caution to the wind and just let it all hang out.

white nationalists: We just want to protect our white heritage.
motives/what we mean: It’s too late to do anything about those other countries but by-God America oughta be someplace a white fella can feel at home. Our white heritage is America’s heritage.

snobby sorority girls: We can’t extend a bid to her, we just can’t, I don’t care if she’s a legacy. Did you see her SHOES? And that hair…hello, welcome back, 1980.
motives/what we mean: She’s not good enough, clearly. We need to protect our little klan group and stay true to the values of Theta Phi Mexiplexiglass.

the popular PTO/PTA moms (you know who you are): But we have to have monthly spirit days, we always do. And Twin Day? What do you mean you want to get rid of Twin Day? The girls LOVE Twin Day!
motives/what we mean: Our (popular) girls look forward to twinning all year long. They plan their outfits a week in advance. We all go shopping together and then hit Starbucks. Don’t take away our shopping and Starbucks!

Linda’s stream of consciousness post pops on Saturday.  Visit to see what other blogs do with this week’s prompt “motive.”