We’re all born with a bit of superpower in us. Some hone it a little more finely than others, but we all have the skills. Otherwise surviving this traipse across the planet would require an unlikely amount of luck. Me? I’d say I have my fair share helping me along.
A sixth sense.
Years ago I might have called this a bullshit meter, but my superpower reaches far beyond calling out ridiculous claims by offspring. This finely honed sense of…well, sensing helps with everything from poking holes in cover stories to picking up undertones in fights. It’s what clears up the difference between an “okay” day and an I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it-with-you-right-now “okay” day. It’s how I feel out whether someone has lost their shit from attitude, exhaustion, or hormonal fluxes.
For years my ability to sniff out poopy diapers at twenty paces saved my life (and baby bottoms). Nowadays this olfactory super skill comes in handy for stanky feet, sweaty pits, and mysterious odors wafting from rooms.
Remarkably (some might say unfortunately), my OCD superpower is a selective one. It’s a huge asset in writing, but any truly OCD person’s heart would stop if they walked through our door. Laundry abandoned, three unfinished projects at a time, and annoyingly persistent piles of mail popping up all over the place. Bless.
No, I’m not tri- or even bilingual, but I am fluent in a number of lay languages. For example:
“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
parenting: You can make a better choice.
adulting with acquaintance: Do you think that’s best?
adulting with good friend: That’s the worst damn idea ever. Last call for margaritas.
teacher: Let’s look at all the options.
speaking with teachers: And how do you see this working in your classroom?
committee chair: I see…are there any other suggestions?
committee member: I’ll need to disagree with Ms. McSnooty on this one.
Sure, I joke about dropping the ball and sometimes that doesn’t work out too great. But when I sit back and think – really think – about the number of plates I keep balanced and spinning, it’s pretty impressive. Once in a while, though, the thought flits through my head…what comes crashing down if I drop off the planet? (See? This is why I don’t share some of my more random thoughts.) It used to be Bear’s hair. I mean, that was a no brainer. These days the span of details swirling through my head rivals those photos of the Milky Way.