In the tradition of kids everywhere, Bear returned from trick-or-treating on Tuesday and promptly dumped her bag to check out her score.  She didn’t even make it into the house – BrightSide and I were on the porch greeting littles (and bigs and in-betweens), so she and her friend flopped right down on the sidewalk to tally things up.

They were the perfect example of candy methodology, too.  One sorted hers into neat piles, combining like candies and weeding out the unsavory; the other just shoved it all into a huge mountain and (metaphorically) rolled around in her take for the night.  Can you say childhood flashback?

Watching Bear run down her goodies sparked my own candy commentary, which I thought I’d share with all of you.  Naturally.

**  Whoppers.  The only candy represented with a universal ugh factor.  Both grownups, both kids, all agreed that Whoppers are the candy companies’ cruel joke on trick-or-treaters.  There may or may not have been a comment about its inventor deserving a slow, painful death.

**  Snickers.  Utter delightfulness.  Peanuts, nougat, caramel…mmmmm.

**  Milky Way.  This runs a close second to Snickers.  Sure, it’s got the nougat.  And the caramel.  Plus it’s a milk chocolate bar, but without the peanuts?  Eh.

**  Three Musketeers.  Nah.  I can eat them, sure, but there’s something wrong with the nougat.  Not wrong, wrong.  But not right either.

**  Candy corn.  All I can say is YUCKITY YUCK YUCK YUCK.  Yes, I’m one of those people.  Don’t try to talk me into the candy corn camp.  Never gonna happen.

**  Skittles.  This one currently tops the list of non-chocolate candies.  Sweet, chewy, with a little bit of tart thrown in.  A handful of these sugar bursts can carry you through a good hour of “what a cute costume!”

**  Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  Chocolate and peanut butter?  What’s not to love?

**  Kit Kats.  There’s something about the crisp crunch of the Kit Kat wafer that’s just so delightfully yummy.  Not sure if it’s the chocolate or the wafer or the combination of the two, but whatever it is I’ll take it.

**  Butterfingers.  These are gross with a capital G.  G-R-O-S-S.  And since I love milk chocolate that means it’s gotta be whatever icky crunchy stuff is inside.

**  M&Ms.  Plain, peanut, or a big old mixed bag.  They’re crunchy and delicious.

**  Dum Dums.  I’ve never been a huge sucker fan, and these are the most stripped down version of them all.  If it doesn’t have a tootsie roll center, don’t even bother giving it to me.

**  Nerds.  Another win in the non-chocolate column.  The only problem is the itty bitty boxes handed out on Halloween.  Nerds need to be crunched in massive quantities.