Some things go unspoken.  There are certain things we hide away because we believe – no, we know – everyone will think we’re hideous simply for having the thought.  Because what mom would ever think that about her kids?

Then again, some things should see the light of day.

Do these kids ever look at me and wonder why on earth am I here?  Why did I end up with this mom?  What makes her any better than my first mom?

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Wow.  That was a really bad call.  Like, really bad.  Okay, there’s no doubt, I definitely suck at this.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Why did I say yes to this?  How can I even begin to relate to these kids, to their experience, to their lives?  How can I guide them without coming off like some dilettante riding in on a white horse to save the day?

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Do I look that stupid, people?  I did not just roll into this job, kiddos, and you wanna know the really bad news?  I WAS A TEENAGER, TOO.  I have pulled all this shit and more so bring it on.  (Just kidding.  I totally don’t want you to bring it on.)

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Parenting flat out sucks sometimes.  Call it consequences or tough love or plain old parenting (quaint, I know) – there are moments when I’m throwing something down that I know these kids are gonna hate.  Something they’ll hate big time and then take out on me.  The whiny part of me doesn’t want to take the heat.  The scaredy cat part of me doesn’t want to hear they hate living with me.  It’s a lose/lose proposition.