just in case wallpaper is part of your new year’s plans

My earliest memory of wallpaper is a foggy one.  My mom and dad were putting up some in a bathroom – it was one of those small half baths, the kind you have to turn sideways in to pass someone at the sink.  I’m not sure what inspired the home project, but I vaguely recall some rather sharp tones floating out into the hallway.  No death threats, mind you, but it was still a shock for a kid who never heard her parents fight.

But as an adult who has (by choice) had very limited practice with wallpaper?  Let’s just say I’m surprised I don’t remember anything getting thrown across the room.

The wallpaper experience is not for the faint of heart.

My first hands on struggle with this particular decor came on a trip home from college.  My parents were getting ready to sell their house, and they needed help stripping wallpaper in the basement.  My dad’s instructions sounded simple enough – soak the wallpaper with a sponge then peel it off in strips. Easy peasy.

I guess no one gave the “easy” memo to that wallpaper.

It was enough to make me swear I’d never, ever, ever deal with wallpaper in my own home.  Wouldn’t put it up.  Wouldn’t take it down.  Wouldn’t so much as breathe its way in Home Depot on my way to the paint samples.

Wallpaper, aka Satan’s folly.  No thanks, I’m good.

I could have sworn this was a decorating trend that died out in the ’90s, so you can imagine my surprise when I googled wallpaper and got 1,940,000,000 results in 0.52 seconds.  Say what??

“Well, Laura,” my fair readers say.  “Of course you did.  LOTS of people despise wallpaper enough to write about it on the internet.”

You’ll be shocked to learn that the majority of these results are wallpaper images, design suggestions, and places where you can actually buy said wallpaper.  Listen.  I try not to judge.  Okay, I try not to judge out loud.  But what in the holy hell?!  People are still hanging this glue backed torture implement in their homes?  Voluntarily?

I can’t help but wonder if “wallpaper installation” has ever been cited as cause for divorce.

21 thoughts on “just in case wallpaper is part of your new year’s plans

  1. We have wallpaper in a few places. Your description is accurate, but only for older wallpaper. Modern wallpaper is pretty easy to put up, and it strips off very easily. Now that I’ve gotten beyond any wallpaper from the before-time, it no longer scares me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I moved into my townhouse several years ago, I ventured into the wallpaper world. Then I ventured out of that world, picking a very hot 4th of July to steam off the wallpaper in my upstairs bathroom. Bad timing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha!
    I’m sorry to disappoint you, but even after removing three layers of it from my current kitchen and two rooms of it in my last Indy home, I have actually hung wallpaper in my house. Also, hiring a pro to do my master bath is on my agenda.
    My MIL was the queen of wallpaper, so my husband hates it, but I find it has its places 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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