When the IV tech says, “Yep.  We always put one of these down in case there’s a crime scene.”  Umm…okay.  Now I’m super psyched to let you stick me.

8:30am – “Okay, I feel ready to go back to school now.”  9:30am – “Man, I don’t want to go to school…”  What a difference an hour makes.

Postal carriers in a Cleveland suburb are running scared from a band of aggressive wild turkeys blocking deliveries to more than two dozen homes.  Residents are no doubt annoyed that Thanksgiving birds are forcing them to queue up at the post office.  On the up side, it does mean getting to see this sentence in print: “A U.S. Postal Service spokesman says some carriers have been pecked but none have been injured.”

“Oh, mom…”  Uttered at the sight of my ridiculously enormous supplements.  Or the really gross looking Cleanse shake I’m drinking in the mornings.  While watching me try to order off a menu, or hearing about favorite foods that landed on my restricted list.  Basically, the kids think my life is over.

Learning that, once again, there is an app for that.

In November 2017 a Florida woman on horseback was charged with a DUI.  ‘Round these parts we see yahoos riding what BrightSide lovingly calls “liquorcycles,” scooters that are barely road legal but will get a person down to the ABC store before closing time.  We’ve seen at least one a week the entire time we’ve lived in North Carolina, yet I’ve never seen one pulled over by the police.

The Jirons, an 80- and 70-year-old husband and wife from California, were arrested last month for transporting 60 pounds of marijuana through Nebraska.  The couple said they planned to give the pot as Christmas presents to relatives in Vermont and Massachusetts.  Am I the only one rubbing my chin here?

That extremely groggy look on Gracie’s face after she’s consumed half a box of Honey Nut Cheerios.  Along with part of the box itself.  Talk about increasing your fiber intake.  Sheesh.