introducing the last person you’d expect to be a gluten free vegetarian

Oh my gosh, you guys.  Are you completely sick of listening to me talk about food?  This isn’t even a food blog – me, writing a food blog? snort! – yet here I am yammering on about what I can eat, what I can’t, and the bizarre life changes that have befallen me at forty-seven.  My instagram feed now consists almost entirely of a) adorable photos of my dogs and b) pictures of food.

Because why wouldn’t my instagram followers be fascinated by my dietary adventures?  Omelette with kale and mozzarella?  Pecan crusted salmon?  YUM.

In case you’re one of the lucky few souls I haven’t yet bored with this food thing, here’s the deal in a nutshell.

I’m working with a holistic doctor to improve my health using supplements and diet.  The supplements are gonna have to be a separate post because holy Mary mother of God, this is a stupid amount of pills to swallow and we’ve only got so much time in a day.  As for my diet, I used to get by on beef, pasta, breads, pizza, chips, and sweets.  Now I’ve learned my body does best if I eat like a vegetarian who’s sworn off gluten.

A gluten free vegetarian.  Bwahahahaha!

You could say I’ve had some emotional roadblocks to get past in this process.  I’m embracing it, though, because as much as it pains me to admit this I do actually feel better with these new dietary guidelines.  Dammit.

Here’s a few examples of foods I never thought I’d embrace like long lost friends:

Almond butter tofu stir fry.

Where to start with this one…how about the fact that I recently uttered this statement in my kitchen?  “Why are you moving that box, T-man?  It’s pressing the tofu.  Put it back.”

Broccoli, broccoli, and more broccoli.

Y’all, I have never actually liked broccoli, it’s just been a vegetable that’s more tolerable when drenched in cheese sauce.  Now I have no less than ten different broccoli recipes, all of which are absolutely delicious.


See broccoli, above.


KALE?!  This has always fallen into the greens category, and we all know how I feel about greens.  Now I’m scrambling this sh*t into my eggs.  And liking it.

Quinoa with Peas and Onion.

Prior to last night I’d had one disastrous interaction with quinoa.  After that particular evening we were certain quinoa was dry, tasteless, and a close cousin to cardboard.  But last night proved that quinoa can actually be delicious so it’s a brand new day.

Seafood out the wazoo (and not the kind I’ve eaten all my life).

I’ve spent a lifetime enjoying shrimp, crab, clams, scallops, and the occasional lobster.  Every single one of those is on my NO list now, but you know what I can do?  Fix tilapia and salmon in a dozen mouthwatering ways.  Wha???  That’s right, baby, I’m rocking seafood skills.

11 thoughts on “introducing the last person you’d expect to be a gluten free vegetarian

  1. I tend towards vegetarian, but not all the way because I do sometimes eat meat. Mostly chicken, but now and then that hamburger is just too tempting. I prefer vegetables and beans, really, and grains. At first the texture of quinoa disturbed me, but now I mix it with brown rice and I am happy. Raw kale is iffy, but cooked in soups or other dishes, it’s just fine. Tilapia is okay – salmon and I or any fishy fish have never gotten along. I think it takes time to retrain eating habits, but once done, the new way seems “natural”. Ha! See what I did there?

    Liked by 1 person

    • 😊 Tilapia is such an easygoing fish, it tastes like whatever you cook it in. I can eat chicken & turkey, they just aren’t “beneficial” so it’s when I want the feel of a meat. Funny, though – I haven’t had red meat since…um…November maybe? I remember not even enjoying the last steak I had very much.

      Liked by 1 person

Add your 2 cents here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s