It’s been almost a month since my last Gracie post, and those of you familiar with our furry friend know good and well she hasn’t been sitting around twiddling her paws.  Oh no.  Life at our house has been hopping, or flopping, depending on your perspective.

Gracie (“you know you love me anyway”)

So without further ado, may I present the recent gastric adventures of Gracie the golden retriever.

**  BrightSide’s toboggan, stolen away and hidden under the kitchen table for a bit of slobbery gnawing.

**  An iPod shuffle left out in the family room.  All things considered, we’re extremely lucky that one only picked up a few teeth marks.  They’re only about a square inch, for Pete’s sake, and Gracie can swallow something that size in 1.2 seconds.

**  Two pieces of mozzarella and ¼ apple with peanut butter.  As a matter of fact, I’m certain Gracie lured me away from my plate just long enough to snatch herself a snack.

**  Raw onion that fell from my cutting board.  Sadly, there was no marked difference in her breath that night, which ought to tell you something about this dog’s mouth.

**  My notes from last spring’s seminar, pulled from a bag in the office and half devoured on her way across the room.

**  A snootful of potato chips snuffled up out of the bag before I could get to her.

**  One of the good pens – sturdy, heavy, not to be trifled with, but apparently edible nonetheless.

**  A yellow highlighter.  I’m sure it was crunchy deliciousness going down…unfortunately it sat on her stomach for two days until Gracie puked it up at 5am one morning.  Good times.

**  Chicken.  MY grilled chicken.  She watched me cutting it up, chose her time carefully, then planted her big fat paws on the counter right in front of me and shoved her nose in the plate.

**  An entire Honeycrisp apple, core and all, despite the abundance of ordinary apples within reach.  Because of course she’d eat the $3.00 apple.  Of course she would.