Let me be clear before I launch my little not-so-mad woman rant: teachers are awesome sauce. They’re pulling off all sorts of badassery in the classrooms, day in and day out, like the rock stars they are. Schools are expected to pull rabbits out of hats all the time, and they’re doing pretty okay. For the most part.

Alrighty then. Now that we’ve got that out of the way – onward and upward.


I’m gonna need someone to explain using phones in class.

Listen, I get it…technology, big part of the real world, huge part of the kids’ everyday lives, use what they know, yada yada yada. I don’t have a problem with using phones per se, but I have a major problem with teachers who build lessons around students with phones and don’t have an alternate plan for ones who don’t bring tech. Because not every kid has a phone, and even kids who have a phone lose tech privileges. Or maybe that’s just my lucky offspring. Whatevs.

And no, telling a student to “pair up” with another kid who has a phone isn’t what I’d consider a good fallback. Because you know what that gets you? One kid doing all the work on his phone, and another kid looking over their shoulder, pissed off that they don’t have a phone.

No bueno.


So there’s lots of kids at the school, and they’ve all got to eat, but fifteen minute lunch blocks? Seriously? I know, I know, idle hands are the devil’s workshop, but still. By the time those kids walk to the cafeteria, get through the line, find a table, and settle in they’ve got about eight minutes to eat. Can we all agree that isn’t enough time to consume food? And that food is important to, you know, learning and such?


I love volunteering in the school. I’ll say that again, with feeling – I love volunteering in the school. There are so many ways to make a difference in a child’s life. Helping them really understand a concept they’ve struggled with, always being ready with a smile and hug, even simply showing up with a book to pass the time while they transition to small group…each child needs something different, and I love being part of that.

What don’t I love? Kids who do not give a rat’s ass in one-on-one time. I’ll give you a bad day here or there, we all have those sometimes. But two months? Nope.


I try to be level headed about homework. I really do, despite the fact that I’m often faced with one child who nearly always has assignments and the other who is mysteriously homework-free…it’s hard to sort out, really, especially since they’re back to back in school. ‘Nuff said.

But the night before state testing? No. Just no. I’m doing my part to make sure my kids are well rested and have a good breakfast before they show up; you do yours by saving those worksheets or project deadlines for the following week.


Prepare yourself for crotchety old woman speak. What is up with all the kids who constantly want petting for doing their freaking job? “Does this look good?” when they know it’s fine. “Is this okay?” when they’ve followed the directions. “Do I need to number this?” Oh My God, what do you think, you’ve only done it fifty times this year!

Yeah, I know that sounds slightly less kumbaya than the whole “I love being part of their lives” thing but real is real.