Another weekend gone. Another two days of unscheduled scheduling – because we have kids and is there ever really unscheduled time anymore? – in the wind. Another 48 hours of Real Life, and the untapped blog potential hit me like a ton of bricks.

Because let’s be honest…aren’t you a wee bit curious about my nutty over the weekend?

1.  [trumpets sound]  We are not the only mean parents in the school. I met a woman last night who a) didn’t give her kid a phone until he was in ninth grade, b) does not allow him to have any social media accounts At All, and c) inspects his phone at the drop of a hat. My kids’ argument of “but none of the other parents (fill in the blank with whatever horrific parenting scars them in that moment)…” just crashed and burned. Plus we’re thinking about getting t-shirts. Solidarity, people.

2.  Bear’s becoming a bird watcher. She got up early on Sunday so she could watch them before church and saw a small bird chasing a bigger one. The bigger one puffed up all its feathers and Bear said, “Fffooommp! It was a big as my head.” Bwahahahaha!! Nature in action, baby.

3.  Amazon is screwing with my stealth shopping mode by sending items in as many freaking boxes as possible. Did I buy new coasters for the kitchen table? Yes. Would impulse buys like that be as attention grabbing if I didn’t have five Amazon deliveries in two days? Probably not. So maybe we could avoid shipping two bags of almonds in box of its own, hmmm? Come on, Amazon, help a girl out.

4.  Got a big old tween kick-in-the-pants on Friday night as I was dropping Bear off at a party. There were a bunch of kids playing in the driveway (yes, cool though they be, sixth graders still like to play) when I pulled over and parked across the street. I got out then stopped short, wondering what the hell I was doing, and asked Bear if she wanted me to walk over with her. “Um, NO.” Yeah. I deserved that one.

5.  I had to declare Sunday’s family lunch a technology free zone. Not the actual phones – there are no phones at meals and, to torture my children, no tech on Sundays at all – but the words. All of the words. I laid it out flat at the beginning: There must be no technology speak during this lunch. No questions, no conversation, no debate, not even jokes BECAUSE I CANNOT SPEND ONE MORE SECOND TALKING ABOUT TECH TIME WITHOUT LOSING MY SH*T and that would alarm the other Panera patrons. Damn. Parenting, y’all.

6.  Point in fact, I do not make a single cent on this because I’m not one of those smart writers who’s monetized her blog. This is just a friendly PSA from a gal with a growing tween girl. I stumbled across ThredUp.com, an online consignment and thrift store, and oh my gosh. You get 10% off your first order and since the girl needed new dresses (hello, growth spurt) I thought I’d try it out. For $116 we bought a pair of leggings, two casual shirts, a pair of fabulous earrings, and six dresses (ranging in price from $6.40 to $32.00). Okay, yeah, some of that is for me. Everything came clean and neat, without defects or noticeable flaws. So far everything fits but I’ll update you if I need to use their return policy. NOTE: I shopped more casual clothes, but they also sell high end brands and designers like Giorgio Armani for deep discounts.

7.  When two parents, two dogs, and a girl are kicking it on a Sunday afternoon only to have T-man show up in the doorway with the neighbor’s kid just in time to hear “vagina.” ‘Nuff said.

8.  I gotta wonder how many uncomfortable conversations are sparked by the things kids see and hear in our house. Whoops.