“I haven’t taken a hard stand on adoption, being neither anti- nor pro-adoption. Extremes leave no room for anyone falling in between those hard lines. I have wonderful friends who fall in those camps. I respect them. They respect me.

But nothing will convince me returning a kid is ever okay.

In response to those who return adopted kids: Medium


“We can’t find the pattern. The rhyme or reason to what works and what doesn’t.

Something isn’t working. Together, we’re not working.

We aren’t figuring out how to hear our dear foster daughter. Or how to be heard ourselves.”

Assumptions.: Fostering Real


“Next, the well-meaning check-in clerk will have a dozen questions:

Question: “I have three addresses in here, which is correct?”

Answer: “They all are. One is his birth mother’s address that you already had on record, one is children and youth’s since they are his legal guardians at this time, and one is his place of residence, my house.”

Question: “Where do I send paperwork?”

Answer: “You need to send copies to all three addresses.”

Question: “What phone number do I call for appointment reminders?”

Answer: “Mine, foster mom.”

Question: “Can you sign here please?”

Answer: “No, I can’t sign anything.” “

Appointments with an Entourage – Medical Care and Foster Care: the forgotten initiative


“I, like many others, believe that racism is inherent and that we all harbor racist beliefs—to a degree. Yes, you read that right. I am saying that I am racist.

Am I comfortable saying that about myself? Absolutely not.

Do I fear the ramifications of my acknowledging my own biases? Yes, absolutely.

Am I going to put this out there any way? Hell yes.”

Yes, I Am Racist (And I Am Doing Something About It): Diary of a Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee


“If you are not adopted then you do not know what it is like to be adopted. You do not know if it is good, bad, better, worse, happy, fulfilling, or anything. You literally know nothing about being adopted if you are not adopted. If you know people who are adopted you still do not know what it’s like to be adopted. Every adopted person has their own experience: mine is not theirs and theirs isn’t mine. I’m adopted and even I am not trying to speak for other adopted people. So why are you? It’s bizarre.”

Dear Adoption, Your Response to Us is Bizarre: Dear Adoption,