1.  The grass needs mowing three times a week – a bummer, but doable. Except it doesn’t go more than 48 consecutive hours without rain.

2.  The dogs are a new shade of tan. Permanently. Because baths are pointless when you live in a mud bowl.

3.  Bugs move in so they don’t float away. They bring their bags. They bring their friends. They freak us the frick out.

4.  Pep Boys runs out of windshield wiper blades.

5.  Phoebe becomes a pro at crossing her legs. “Outside? Me? No ma’am, I’m good, I peed nine hours ago.”

6.  There are no more dry shoes in the house. None. Every pair has been worn through a torrential downpour or stomped through puddles. We’re resorting to flip flops now.

7.  No need to check the weather, thanks. Hot, chance of thunderstorms. Really hot, chance of thunderstorms. Stupid hot, chance of – you guessed it – thunderstorms.

8.  Thirty percent of the mulch you just spent beaucoup bucks on is slowly seeping its way across the driveway.

9.  Umbrellas are sold on street corners, stocked on grocery checkout aisles, and advertised on Walgreens displays.

10.  You’re hosting an ant farm in the kitchen and play hopscotch to keep from beheading worms on your front walk.