“It is my sincerest hope that this post doesn’t resonate with most of my readers. I hope you can wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, pour yourself some joe, and work a long and productive day at your nine to five job, five days a week until you die… at your desk.

But I wanted to put a resource out there for my readers who have bouts of “I am just too fucking crazy right now to work a real job.” Because despite what we may think, it happens to the best of us.”

How to Make Money When You Are Too Crazy to Work: Damn, Girl. Get Your Shit Together.


“I’ve only been saying things like “Stop killing black people” for two years, and I’m exhausted from having to say it, and that is also privilege. That is so much privilege. So many others have had to say this their entire lives. That is a long time to sustain anger and outrage. I couldn’t do it. I could’t even make it two years before anger and outrage subsided into detached, empty numbness. I’m no longer shocked. I’m just a different, hollow, sad, lost kind of angry. And I don’t want to pound the keyboard with my anger anymore, and I don’t want to sit down with another white friend to explain what systemic racism is anymore, and I don’t have the patience anymore to explain why “All Lives Matter!” is a stupid thing to say. There is no room inside me right now for the vast amount of patience and empathy that is required in order to explain to my fellow white people that the system is very broken, and that there is nothing to be lost if equality is achieved.

But I’ll do it.”

Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth. – I Am Begging My Mother Not To Read This Blog


“As you navigate middle school, I have a few things I’d like you to know:

1. Not everyone will get you. Be patient. You will continue to find your people.

2. Even if you aren’t a natural athlete, grit will be the characteristic that separates you.

3. When you run, you have an angel on your shoulder.

4, Friends aren’t meant to be collected. Good ones last a lifetime.

5. Wear deodorant.”

31 Things I Want My Middle-School Son To Know: Scary Mommy


“Hey Christians — you do know they think we’re assholes, right?

Yes, they — the rest of the people in this country just trying to live their lives, but who are constantly berated because their lifestyle, political views, or religion don’t fit in the box labeled “Christian.” They want nothing to do with a belief system that preaches love thy neighbor, but in practice, only if that neighbor looks like us, lives like us, agrees with us and worships the same God as we do.”

Why People Think Christians Are A**holes: Scary Mommy


“First you will have to get married to someone who, when he asks you on bended knee in a 250 square foot apartment in Manhattan surrounded by the sounds of honking horns and a toilet that won’t stop running, you pause.

You pause.

Even though he stares at you, leans toward you, clutching the receipt for the ring — not the actual ring, which will turn out to be a pear-shaped diamond you hate from the first minute you see it — you can’t find the shape of yes in your mouth. It is only when you see the light in his eyes go from excited to “are you messing with me right now” to the near dim of sad, your doubt breaks into a million little pieces and spreads to every hiding place your body contains so you can let out a high pitched, “Yes, of course, yes!” “

How You Get Divorced – Pryvate Parts