Because some birthday cake miracles are more, ahem, euphemistic than others. Puppies. Bless their furry little hearts.
“Ace is the first dog I’ve ever had in my whole entire life and, despite his devastating good looks, he is evil incarnate. Now, I’m not being mean. All puppies are the total personification of hell. And that’s not mean, it’s accurate.
Ace isn’t any special breed of Satan. He’s just your average puppy with your everyday puppy issues. He’s bitey and barky and sometimes super gross when it comes to bodily functions and overall annoying as hell. But he’s so damn cute you can’t even hate him for it. And that’s why puppies are evil. That’s how they get you.”