“Whaaa? HUH? YES, we wanna go for a walk. Yes yes yes, let’s go right now, let’s go for the walk, we want the walk, LET’S GO!”

(We fly through the front door onto the porch where I come to an abrupt halt, yanking back on the leashes. Both dogs stop and grin up at me, panting excitedly.)

Why did we stop? Huh? Aren’t we going for a walk? You said walk, come on, let’s walk, let’s –

“Wah wah wah-wah-wah. Wah wah. WAH WAH.”

Let’s go, let’s go, we want to go, LET’S –


(Two furry butts plop onto the porch, tails wagging furiously.  I stare at them, they stare goofily back at me.)

We’re sitting. Look at us sitting, we’re sitting so good, we’re ready to go, can we go now? Huh? Can we go? Can we? Please please pretty pleeeeaaase let’s go –



(Gracie starts walking right by my side. Phoebe takes off like a shot, pulling against the leash, aching to sprint down the street.)

“Phoebe, stop pulling.”

(Two sharp tugs and Phoebe drops back, almost to my side, still slightly ahead of Gracie. We fall into an easy rhythm.)

Look at us walk. Look at us walk. We’re on a walk. Look at us walk.

(Neighbors approach from the other side of the street.)

Hey, look! It’s people! We love the people! Can we talk to the people? Huh? Can we? Can we pleeeeaaase talk to the people? — Awww, there go the people, why didn’t we say hi to — Squirrel! Squirrel squirrel squirrel squirrel! Can we play with the squirrel? Huh? Can we play with the — awww, there goes the squirrel. We never get to play with the squirrel.

(Left, right, left, right. Ears back, head up, pink tongues lolling.)

Look at us walk. Look at us walk. Look at us — what’s that smell?

(Noses drop to the ground and snuffle through the grass. Gracie pulls toward the closest tree line. Phoebe starts peeing, hopping spot to spot and repeatedly tinkling.)

Okay, we can go.

(Neighbors walking their dog approach from the other side of the street.)

Hey, look! It’s people! It’s people with a dog! We LOVE the people with a dog. Forget the walk, let’s play, we want to play, look, he wants to play, too! Woof! Woof! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF — wait, there go the people. There go the people with the dog, we wanna — hold on, time to poop.

[insert elevator music]

(Left, right, left, right.)

Hey, that’s our house, I see our house, we’re almost home!

(Gracie trots slowly, tongue hanging out, breathing heavily. Phoebe prances lightly, tip of tongue showing, still grinning. Dogs sit at the door while I unleash them then sprint for their water bowls.)

Hey! We’re home!!