“Listen, you’re blood pressure is just too high. You need to lose some weight, eat healthier and get some exercise. Getting out for a workout will lower your stress level too. I know you can find just a few minutes in your day. On your way out, stop by the front desk and schedule an appointment for 6 weeks. I don’t want to scare you but we really need to keep an eye on this.” The doctor shut the door as my friend pulled her gown a little tighter around her hoping to hide how exposed she was feeling from the inside out. She quickly dressed and told the front desk she would have to check her schedule and call back about the appointment.”

Secondary Trauma: How Your Child’s Special Needs May Be Affecting You: Confessions of an Adoptive Parent

“All the things said, and left unsaid….

1. Just be grateful.
2. You’re so lucky!
3. Adoption was all a part of God’s perfect plan.
4. Do you want to find your real parents?…

What I wish people would have said to me or say to me now:
1. I’m sorry, it must hurt like hell.
2. Feel all the emotions. It didn’t all rock.
3. You are worthy of love and belonging
4. Your DNA, your roots, your fist family….they matter!!!”

All the things said and left unsaid: Adoptee Out Loud

“Let me start by saying, there is nothing “simple” about open adoption.  I’ve said time and time (and time and time) again that open adoptions take A LOT of work.  Like any adoption, open adoptions are complex and bittersweet.  

But there are ways you can work to make your open adoption more likely to be successful.”

5 Simple Guidelines for a Successful Open Adoption: White Sugar, Brown Sugar

“I am sitting in the dark with a bottle of Jelly Belly bubbles. The clock reads 1:14 AM. Sleep eludes me tonight because my thoughts are racing. I breathe in the smell of Very Cherry and I exhale a gentle stream of scented bubbles. This is a technique taught to us by our children’s longtime trauma therapist, L. It’s meant to slow breathing down and bring you back to a calm and logical state. L gave us our first bottle and now I buy them in bulk.

The last few weeks have been challenging. Carl was raging out on a regular basis. The crisis clinician now comes to our house twice a week to work with him. We call for any additional emergencies, but that just means waiting for hours until someone shows up to say, “You handled this very well.”

Breathe in. Breathe out. Bubbles.”

The World at 1:00 AM: Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care

”Lydia Girdwood?”

I hear my name being called. The interviewer scans the room as I stand up and present my handshake, as is custom for a professional interview. He blinks, gives me the once-over, and reciprocates with an apologetic smile.

”Sorry, I was expecting someone more… white,” he admits.”

Mismatch: Just Being Me