1.  Guys, there just are no words for last week’s wrap up. Well, that’s not really true – there are lots of words. Lots of four letter words that will get my post flagged by the wtf happened to HER, she’s not usually this graphic police so all the words are swirling kooky crazy in my head. We’ll see if I can get through this post without an outburst. (psst – I wouldn’t bet the farm on it.)

2.  Introduced Bear to the Twilight saga over the weekend. Also managed to finish the Twilight saga with girly-girl over the weekend. Yes, all five movies. Yes, the last two had the sex and such but whatever, they’re rated PG-13, and she survived.

2a.  Because I know you’re wondering, Bear is Team Edward.

2b.  Which was really good because I didn’t have the bandwidth to explain why Bella’s love for Jacob is undeniably different from her love for Edward who is clearly her soulmate.

2c.  And I guess you can tell I’m Team Edward, too.

3.  We rode the wave of teen dreaminess from Thursday to Friday and into Saturday. Most of it was mindless fun…some of it carried the undercurrent of damn m*therf*cking nonsense, I can’t f*cking believe this bullsh*t is back in my life, DAMMIT. That’s a whole lot to keep under wraps while gazing at dreamy vampires and werewolves but I did my best.

4.  See? I couldn’t even make it to #4. Hope you didn’t put any money on me keeping my cool today.

5.  BrightSide rented Ferdinand for us – probably in an attempt to counteract the ooey gooey love triangle vibe in the family room – and yes, it’s true, it’s a wonderful movie. It makes you laugh, it makes you cry, it makes you want to smell the flowers more.

6.  I might add that whole “makes you cry” part wasn’t super helpful given the whole m*therf*cking nonsense vibe but there we were, sniffling away. But it was followed by the giggling so bygones.

7.  After we watched Ferdinand BrightSide joined us for Breaking Dawn, part 2. Y’all. This man loves me to the ends of the earth. We’ve been married more than 23 years and been together for almost 27. But I tell you this…there’s only one thing – and I do mean the only thing – that could ever convince this man to lose two hours of his live to a human-vampire-werewolf love triangle movie, and that one thing is named Bear. Bless.

8.  Sunday brought the nutty and because stress got the better of me I ended up acting the fool with hubby. I’ll spare you the details. Who am I kidding, I’ll spare me the details. Let’s just say I’m surprised I didn’t come out of that spot of trouble with whiplash.

9.  Despite the lake theme (EASY!) there was still plenty of stress to go around on Sunday afternoon. So much to get done, so much to remember…except my brain was all kerfuzzled because m*therf*cking NONSENSE so that remember thing didn’t work out so great. Let’s see…as of right now I’ve realized I forgot to bring the second crockpot, the baster, and I still don’t have shredded lettuce for Monday night’s dinner. Whoops. (I’d like to point out for my friend Dan that I intentionally did not bake at home. Muffin mix made it to the lake so that’s a win for today.)

10.  A big thunderstorm moved through late last night. I’d reached #9 and was buckled down to finish ten, schedule the post, and Go To Bed. Life had other plans. Bear climbed up onto the couch with me, T-man sprawled with BrightSide, and the three of them watched a movie while I passed out sitting up. Because mamas can sleep in any crazy configuration. And the answer to “can I sit with you or are you busy?” will always be “I’m not too busy for you, babe.”