Because sometimes I’m grateful for the things I don’t have.

1.  An ingrown toenail. Sheesh, those things sound painful.

2.  Housemates who smoke.

3.  A neighbor who works on muscle cars at 11pm.

4.  A heart two sizes too small.

5.  A mullet. A mohawk. Princess Leia buns. Feathered bangs. Or a bad 80s perm with frosted highlights.

6.  A closet full of stilettos.

7.  A kid who practices the accordion.

8.  A snake. Or a scorpion. Or any pet that belongs behind glass but inevitably escapes causing all of us to run from the house screaming in terror.

9.  An allergy to cheese. [shudder]

10.  Job requirements that include rooftop crimefighting and a latex bodysuit.