Because sometimes I’m grateful for the things I don’t have.
1. An ingrown toenail. Sheesh, those things sound painful.
2. Housemates who smoke.
3. A neighbor who works on muscle cars at 11pm.
4. A heart two sizes too small.
5. A mullet. A mohawk. Princess Leia buns. Feathered bangs. Or a bad 80s perm with frosted highlights.
6. A closet full of stilettos.
7. A kid who practices the accordion.
8. A snake. Or a scorpion. Or any pet that belongs behind glass but inevitably escapes causing all of us to run from the house screaming in terror.
9. An allergy to cheese. [shudder]
10. Job requirements that include rooftop crimefighting and a latex bodysuit.